More Lives Than One
by Dash Dott
Summary: For he who lives more lives than one: More deaths than one must die. -Oscar Wilde. Follow the Marauders in their 6th year--a tale of the complications of friendship, the crippling effects of fear, and the power of love. This is what JKR didn't tell you.
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

_"Souls can't move that quickly, and are left behind, and must be awaited, upon arrival, like lost luggage." --William Gibson_

He sank low behind a fallen tree, its massive trunk just high enough to shield him from view.

"Oy, James!" he heard a deep voice call, a little too close for comfort. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

He smiled, shaking his head as he held his crouch. His legs were beginning to burn, but readjusting might give away his position. Instead, he inched his hand down and cautiously brushed away some of the dead leaves, wincing as they crackled deafeningly in the silent forest.

"Oh, Prongs," said the other boy, now off to his far right. "Just admit your defeat."

_Never_! James thought, scooping up the handful of stones he'd just uncovered and weighing them in his hand. Suddenly, he heard a soft snuffling near the far end of the trunk. "No fair!" James cried, springing up from his position. "Animagus forms are totally against the—" He was cut off mid-sentence as the large black dog launched itself in his direction. James ducked swiftly, diving into the underbrush.

"Coward!" Sirius cried, shifting seamlessly back into his human appearance.

James darted out from behind a tree and hurled a rock at the shaggy haired boy.

"Missed!" Sirius called, cackling madly as he dodged the incoming fire. "Nice try, Jamesie—" But James had already taken aim and thrown another stone, smacking Sirius squarely in the chest. "_Ow_," Sirius said, clutching at his loose shirt dramatically. "Jesus Prongs, that _hurt_."

James rolled his eyes, starting toward his friend. "Oh Padfoot, don't be such a girl—" Too late, James realized his mistake as Sirius took advantage of his distraction and pounced, tackling James into the thick undergrowth. They wrestled for a minute, their boyish grunts drowned out by the din of snapping twigs and crackling leaves. With a battle cry, Sirius threw his weight against the other boy, knocking James' glasses askew as he pinned him to the forest floor.

"Give?" Sirius said, breathing heavily as he sat on James' chest.

"Are you boys quite finished?" Their heads snapped up to see a petite girl standing over them, her green eyes alight with amusement.

"Ah, hello Lily," Sirius said, not moving from his position on James' chest. "I was just teaching your boy here a proper lesson about respecting his elders."

James rolled his eyes. "We're the same age, you git!"

"Ah," Sirius said, shaking his head. "Technically, I lived to see thirty six, while you offed it around twenty one. That gives me fifteen years on you."

Lily gazed down at the two boys, neither of which looked a day over seventeen. "When you two are done arguing," she said, placing her hands on her slender hips, "I think you might like to know about our newest arrival."

Sighing, Sirius hopped up and offered James his hand, heaving the boy up in a shower of dead leaves.

"Who's here?" James asked, squinting as he scanned the ground. Lily chuckled, picking up his glasses and placing them firmly on his face. James smiled gratefully, leaning down to place a soft kiss against her lips.

Sirius cleared his throat loudly. "You were saying?" he said, grinning wryly.

"Yes," Lily continued as James slung an arm over her shoulder. "We've got a new arrival—two, actually," she corrected herself as they stepped onto a narrow dirt path and headed for the forest's edge.

"So, who is it?" James asked, glancing down at his wife. "Anyone we know?"

She smiled coyly, brushing her long hair off her face. "Oh, I'd say so."

"Gah, come on, Lils," Sirius said, darting in front of her and continuing down the path backwards. "Who is it?"

She grinned, her eyes glinting. "Guess." Sirius stayed silent, glowering at her. "Oh, fine," she said, chuckling softly. "It's Remus."

Sirius' eyes widened as James sprung to attention next to her. "_What_?"

"_Remus_," Lily said again, still smiling. "You know… best friend, werewolf, lover of—"

"Moony!" Sirius whirled around to hurtle down the path, slowing only to shout, "Last one to Remus is a tosser!"

"Hey! No fair!" James yelled, taking off after him. "Come on, Lils!" he shot over his shoulder as he disappeared from view. Lily tossed her head back, laughing brightly as she sprinted after them. They broke through the abrupt edge of the forest into bright sunshine, their shouts of excitement startling a large snowy owl from her perch on a high branch.

"Too slow, old man!" James cried as he drew level with Sirius, his arms pumping swiftly at his sides.

"Ha!" Sirius shouted, putting on an extra burst of speed as they started up the hill toward the courtyard. Lily laughed as Sirius stuck a long leg out to the side and sent James toppling over into the wet grass. James reached out and grabbed at Sirius, barely grasping the heel of his boot.

"Oy! Geroff me!" Sirius said, attempting to free his leg from James' grip. "You're such a cheat!"

"_Me_?" James cried, yanking hard enough on Sirius' ankle to pull him to the ground. "You're the one who morphed in the forest and—"

Lily jogged past the tussling pair, waving sweetly as she reached the top of the hill. She paused, surveying the vast courtyard. To her right stretched a low stone wall, over which the ocean was discernable in the distance. A cobblestone path wound through the lush grass, lined by stone fountains that gurgled pleasantly. Dozens of people sat on the fountain ledges or the marble benches scattered throughout the quad. She smiled as she spotted an old wizard chatting with someone hidden behind a fountain outcropping, a large tea cozy just visible above the stone ledge; the man looked up, winking at her from behind half moon spectacles as she passed.

"Lily?" she suddenly heard a soft voice call from behind her. She whipped around, already recognizing that familiar tone.

"Remus!" she cried, closing the distance between them in one lithe leap and throwing her arms around his shoulders. He hugged her back just as Sirius—short one boot—came into view.

"Tosser," he said over his shoulder to a panting James who was just breasting the hill.

"Cheat," James shot back, straightening his grass-stained shirt.

Sirius shoved him. "Wanker."

"Git."

"Bastard."

"Twit."

"Death hasn't changed them, then?" Remus asked, amused.

Lily sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not one bit."

"Moony!" they both cried, bounding over and catching him in a crushing embrace.

"How've you been, mate?" James said.

"Is it wrong that I'm glad you're dead?" Sirius asked, ruffling Remus' hair.

"Yes," Lily said, leaning over and kissing Remus lightly on the cheek. "So good to see you; I'm going to go grab Emme and the others."

"Hey," James said, punching Remus on the arm as Lily flitted away. "Get your own wife! Oh, wait, you _have_ one!"

Remus' face darkened momentarily, his eyes shadowed with sadness. "Yeah, I do. And a—"

"Son," Sirius interrupted, slapping him on the back. "We know."

"We saw," James said, winking at him. "You dog, you."

Remus smiled ruefully, wondering how Teddy would fare without a father. James placed a hand on his shoulder, all signs of kidding gone. "I know," he said, holding Remus' gaze. "I really do. But he'll be okay."

Remus cleared his throat loudly. "You're right," he said, nodding. "At least he still has Tonks, and—"

"Remus!" Emme called, sidling over to the group. "Lily told me you'd arrived! Welcome aboard."

"Emme? You look great!" he said, taking in her appearance. Her dark hair fell loosely around her shoulders as she grinned at him. "Last time I saw you, we were pushing forty," he continued, tilting his head to the side. "And you, too, Sirius." He frowned. "What _is_ this place?"

"You can never just go with the flow, can you? Have to ask questions," James said, shaking his head. "Come here." He grabbed Remus' shoulder, dragging him over to a nearby fountain. "Look," he instructed, giving his friend room as he stepped away.

"What--" Remus began, but faltered as he took in his reflection. His features were young, his eyes not yet clouded with the ghosts of the wars that had passed. The lines that had creased his face for most of his adult life had smoothed themselves away, leaving him looking innocent and vulnerable. "Where are we, exactly?" Remus asked, glancing around at his surroundings.

"Somewhere between here and there," Sirius replied, clapping him on the shoulder. "Come on, let's go somewhere and talk."

Sirius led the way toward the shady pond, the other three following in his wake. Remus grew more relaxed as he recognized familiar faces, even waving shortly to a red-headed boy shooting fireworks into the air.

They stopped under a large oak tree, James flopping down on the grass below it. Remus gazed up at it, frowning. "You know," he said, "if I squint my eyes, it almost looks like—"

"Yeah, it does," Sirius agreed, nodding. They stared at the towering oak in silence.

"We had some good times under that tree, didn't we?" Remus said, sinking down next to James, who had propped himself up on his elbows.

"I'll say." Sirius smirked as he leaned against the wide trunk. "Hey Moony, remember the time James and that mermaid—"

"_Shh_!" James said, glancing around wildly and relaxing when he spotted Lily chatting with a tall blonde at the far end of the courtyard, seemingly engrossed in conversation. "Lily still doesn't know about that; she'd kill me if she found out."

"But that was before you were dating, wasn't it?" Emme countered, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, back in the days when James followed Lily around like a lost puppy," Sirius said, aiming a swift kick at James' midsection.

"Shove off," James said, rolling out of the way. "I did not."

"Oh you most certainly did," Sirius said, looking to Remus for support. "Right, Moony?"

Remus, who had been scanning the far banks of the pond, glanced back toward his friend. "Hmm?"

Sirius frowned, casting a meaningful look at James. "Prongs stalked Lily like--"

"Oh," Remus replied, nodding. "He's right, James," he said, a trace of a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I remember this one time in sixth year…"


	2. Chapter One

_Chapter__One_

"_Three may keep a secret if two are dead."_

_- Chinese Proverb_

"Don't do it, Prongs."

James hesitated, his wand poised over an intricately folded piece of parchment. "Why? What could go wrong?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Don't you remember what happened the last time you tried to send her a note this way?" James made a face, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "Aurora Flume followed us around for an entire week because she thought your _heart burned with an insatiable_-"

"What's your point?" James asked, annoyed.

"You don't tend to have to best aim with these things," Remus replied, giving their potion a quick stir. "I'm just looking out for you." The sound of a dozen bubbling cauldrons filled the dungeon as the students let their Shrinking Solutions simmer.

"That was just a fluke," James said, adjusting a small fold on one of the wings. "Someone opened a window and blew it halfway across the common room." He glanced around at the cold stone walls. "No windows in here." He grinned as he eyed the red-haired girl sitting two tables up, her head bent low over her potion's manual.

Remus sighed, resigned. "Whatever you say, Prongs. Whatever you say."

Pushing back the sleeves of his robe and placing his masterpiece in the center of the table, James gently prodded the folded parchment. With a soft green glow, the bird sprang to life, gently flapping its wings as it rose high above their heads.

"Ha!" James exclaimed as it fluttered toward the front of the room. "I told you it would-" But James faltered as the note hitched and took a wobbling dive to the left. "What the hell?" James said, glancing around the room. His hands curled into fists as he spotted a tall blonde boy in the far corner, his pointed face upturned as he blew a steady stream of air in the direction of James' wavering parchment. "Oh that slimy little prick," James whispered furiously, snatching up his wand and pointing it at the flyaway note.

But it was too late. With a final shudder the bird plummeted straight down, landing with a small splash in the center of Lily's cauldron.

"Oh, shit!" James exclaimed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Oh, _shit_."

"What is it?" Remus asked, looking up from the freshly crushed beetles in front of him.

James motioned frantically toward the front of the room where Lily's potion had turned a sickening yellow. Lucius had his hand clamped tightly over his mouth, his shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. "Oh, dear," Remus said as Lily's potion began to boil, emitting a bitter smelling haze that began to fill the room. Her long hair flew wildly about her as she flitted up and down the table, her partner vacillating between madly flipping through the textbook and staring incredulously at their ruined potion.

"Not to worry, not to worry," Professor Slughorn called, waddling over to Lily's table. He glanced into the cauldron, waving the pungent mist from his sight as he grabbed a ladle and scooped the soggy parchment from the bubbling mixture. The mist immediately dispersed, and with a short wave of his wand the yellow liquid vanished. "Don't be discouraged, Miss Evans," the professor said, chuckling merrily. "We must all make mistakes sometimes!"

Lily gazed down at the sodden parchment for a split second before whipping around to glare at James. He ducked his head, gathering up his books as the bell rang in the distance. He stood and put on his most winning smile, reaching out to bar the door as she left. "Say, Lily," he said, lacing his voice with charm. "How can I make it up to--" But she ducked under his outstretched arm, storming past him as she disappeared into the throng of students moving toward the Great Hall.

"Hey--wait!" James shouted, following after her. He stood on his tiptoes as he reached the Entrance Hall, scanning the large crowd. He saw a flash of red slipping out the front doors and he sighed, mentally kicking himself.

A weak September sun filtered light down upon the grounds as students milled about during their lunch hour. He spotted Lily off to his left, heading toward a small beech tree in the distance. "Oy! Lily!" He rushed to catch up with her. "Would you just-"

"What, Potter?" she said, whirling around to face him. "What do you want now?"

"It was an accident, I swear-"

"Oh I'm sure it was," Lily said, placing her hands on her hips. "But that's the problem with you--it's _always_ an accident. Like that time you tried to turn my hairbrush into a dove and it went mental and tried to peck my eyes out? I was in the Hospital Wing for _three days_."

"But this time it really was an accident!" James cried, taking a step toward her. "That git Malfoy-"

"Don't blame this on someone else!" Lily snapped, her green eyes flashing.

James frowned, crossing his long arms over his chest. "Fine, see if I ever do anything nice for _you_ again."

"Ugh!" Lily cried, throwing her hands in the air as she turned her back on him and stomped away.

_Don't do it, Prongs_, he said to himself. _Don't go after her. Turn around, walk away. Let her cool off._ James sighed, raking a hand through his messy hair.

He followed.

Sirius smiled, watching the rock he'd just skipped disappear under a large tentacle. He leaned back against the tall oak, turning away from the lake to scan the grounds. In the distance he could see a tall boy chasing after a flaming redhead, waving his hands emphatically as he spoke. Sirius shook his head, sighing. "Oh Prongs, when will you learn?"

"What was that?" Sirius looked up to see Emme strolling toward him, her dark hair pulled back from her soft face. A thin blonde trailed close behind her, looking nervous.

"Hullo, Emme," Sirius said, flashing a smile. "And who have we here?"

"Oh, this is Amanda Young," Emme said, dropping her satchel as she sank to the ground. "We have double Divination together with the Ravenclaws; she'll be joining us for lunch. Amanda, Sirius Black."

"Nice to meet you," she said, clutching her bag in front of her as she sat down. Sirius inclined his head toward Amanda just as Remus came into sight, wiping the back of his arm across his forehead.

"Hey," he said as he neared them, looking more than a little tired.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius said, scooting over to make room at the base of the tree. "You're just in time to meet our new friend." He waved his hand with a flourish and added, "Amanda."

"Hey," Remus said, extending a thin hand in her direction. "Pleased to meet you."

She took it, smiling awkwardly. "Moony, is it?"

Sirius laughed, shaking his head. "Only to some of us. To everyone else, he's just Remus." She raised her eyebrows and Remus shrugged, smiling.

"Where's James?" Emme asked.

Remus sighed, shaking his head. "There was a bit of a mishap in Potions today--"

"Yeah, I saw him trailing after Evans when the bell rang," Sirius said. "What now?"

"He was trying to send her a note, and Lucius Malfoy went and-"

"Did I hear someone say my name?" The four Gryffindors looked up as Lucius approached, his arm around the waist of a beautiful blonde with high, arrogant cheekbones.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Narcissa said, scanning the small group.

"A half-blood and two blood traitors, it looks like to me," said Bellatrix, throwing her dark curtain of hair over her shoulder as she joined her sister.

"Yes, but it seems there's been a new addition to the nerd herd," Narcissa continued, eyeing Amanda with distaste. "So what are you--half-blood? Muggle born?" Amanda fidgeted, lowering her gaze. "Oh, God, cousin," she said, her eyes floating to Sirius. "You really have lowered your standards, haven't you?"

"I don't know, I think it adds diversity," Bella said sarcastically, scrutinizing the tall blonde, "adding a Mudblood to the mix."

Emme gasped quietly as Sirius leveled his gaze. "Haven't you anything better to do?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "Like, say, showering? Reapplying your eyeliner? Snogging Snivellus?"

"Watch it," she sneered, fingering her prefect's badge. "I would hate to have to send my own flesh and blood to detention." She tilted her head, contemplating the thought. "Or maybe I wouldn't. But it's best not to try me."

Sirius rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Yeah, because our family ties are so strong. Thankfully I only inherited the name--not the smell." He wrinkled his nose as Narcissa scowled, taking Lucius' arm as they stalked away.

"Bella, dear," Sirius said when she didn't follow them. "Don't stay on our account. They may start greasing each other's hair without you. "

"I'd be careful if I were you," Bella hissed, taking a step toward Sirius. "We wouldn't want it to slip to all the parents that your mate here has a bit of an issue with lycanthropy, now would we?"

Amanda's head snapped up as the color drained from Remus' face. Sirius shot to his feet, a low growl issuing from his throat. "Sod off and go buy yourself a backbone before you start spreading that rubbish."

Her lips curled back in a cruel smile. "Don't worry cousin, I haven't told anyone," she said, relishing Sirius' panic. "It's my ace in the hole; it'll definitely give me some credit toward becoming Head Girl, don't you think? If I've just eradicated a dangerous werewolf from our prestigious student body?"

Sirius opened his mouth to retort but then paused, staring at her peculiarly. His face split into a wide grin as he stepped back, nodding. "Whatever you say, Bella."

"What are you smirking at?" she demanded. She sniffed at the air, which was suddenly filled with the acrid smell of smoke. "What in the bloody--ow!" She yelped as the tips of her hair burst into flame, singing her shirt sleeve. With an irritable wave of her wand she doused the fire, glaring at them as they snickered behind their hands. "Detention, all of you," Bellatrix said, gripping her wand tightly as she stalked back toward the castle, a strand of her hair still smoking feebly.

"Nice one, Remus," Sirius said, sitting back down beneath the large oak. "Hellfire? We haven't used that in a while."

"Me?" Remus asked, frowning. "I thought that was you?"

"What? No," Sirius said, perplexed. He glanced over at the girls in time to see Amanda stowing her wand in the folds of her robes. He raised his eyebrows, impressed. "Amanda?"

She grinned, shrugging one shoulder. "Sorry about the detention--but I couldn't help myself."

"Not to worry," Remus said, waving his hand absently.

"We practically live there," Sirius finished, shrugging one shoulder. The two boys held each other's gaze, seemingly having a silent conversation between the two of them. "I'm starving," Sirius said, standing abruptly. "What do you say we grab some lunch, Emme?" She stood and followed him as he headed toward the castle, whispering furiously as soon as they were out of earshot.

Remus cleared his throat, looking away from Amanda. "Don't believe anything she said," he said, beginning what sounded like a well rehearsed speech. "Bella has this thing about-"

"Don't worry," Amanda said. "I've been on the other end of the Bella canon, I know how that can be." She smiled at him reassuringly. "She's a pathological liar."

"She really is," Remus said, heaving a sigh of relief. "She's such a pain in the arse."

"That's an understatement."

Remus hopped up, offering Amanda a hand. "Shall we join the others in the Great Hall? I'm starving."

Amanda accepted his hand, but shook her head. "No, I better get to the library; I've got some studying to do. But thanks."

"Do you think she bought it?" Sirius asked Remus.  
"I hope so." He poked at his food with the gold fork. "Even if she didn't, she won't tell anyone."  
"And what makes you say that?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.

Remus shrugged, not looking up.

"Well, let's just hope she believed you," Emme said, ladling some stew into her bowl.

"And if she didn't, we'll take care of it," Sirius said, grinning as he twirled his wand between his fingers.

"Take care of what, now?" said a voice from behind. James squeezed between Sirius and Emme, wiggling as he pushed them apart.

"Done stalking Lily, are we?" Sirius said.

James scowled at him. "It's not stalking if she knows I'm doing it."

"Oh no, it's still stalking," Emme said, dodging the handful of grapes James flung at her.

"When are you going to give it up, Prongs?" Sirius asked, shaking his head. "If she hasn't come around yet, I doubt she's going to."

James frowned, lowering his head as he stared at his plate. "She called me… arrogant," James said in a quiet voice.

Emme raised her eyebrows. "Imagine that."

"I really think she meant it this time."

Sirius shook his head. "Sorry, mate, but I think she's always meant it."

"Shut it," James said, glaring over at him. "All I did was--"

"Listen," Emme cut in to stop the situation from escalating, "while you were playing a borderline criminal version of hide-and-seek, Bellatrix let it slip that she's privy to Remus' condition."

James' head snapped up, his eyes wide. "She _what_? But how?"

"We don't know," Remus said, sighing as he leaned his elbows against the table.

"And unfortunately, she happened to let us know in front of someone else," Emme said, biting her lip.

"Who?"

"Amanda Young."

"Who?"

"Honestly, James, do you pay attention to anyone outside of The Marauders?" Emme rolled her eyes. "She's a sixth year Gryffindor. The quiet blonde girl who--"

"Oh, her," James said. "I thought she was a mute."

"She's just _shy_," Emme said. "Not everyone parades around the castle like a walking fanfare."

"What's that supposed to mean?" James said defensively.

Before Emme could respond, Remus interrupted. "She was talkative enough to cast the Hellfire charm. You should have seen Bellatrix's hair…"

"That _was_ pretty good," Sirius said, nodding. "Got us detention, though."

Remus shrugged as he said, "It's not like we wouldn't have gotten there on our own, anyway."

"So what did you tell Alyssa?" James asked.

"_Amanda_," Emme chastised.

"Whatever."

Remus sighed. "I just told her that Bellatrix was full of it; she wasn't hard to convince, it seems like she's had some run-ins with Bella before."

"Which I'm not sure is a good thing," Sirius said, leaning back in his seat. "Oy, look Prongs, there's Lily. How about you--"

"Padfoot," Remus said, giving him a stern look.

James grumbled something unintelligible, stabbing at a piece of roast turkey on his plate.

"Aww, James, don't let it get to you," Remus said.

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder. "If at first you don't succeed, try again."

"And again," Emme chimed in.

James glared at her as he shoved a spoonful of potatoes into his mouth.

"Just forget about--" Sirius began, pausing as an idea sprang to his mind. "Forget about it. Bloody hell, that's _it_."

"What's it?" Remus asked as the bell gonged in the distance.

Sirius shook his head. "I'll tell you about it later, I've got to run to class." He grabbed his bag from the floor as he stood, joining the throng of students pulsing out of the Great Hall. "If I'm late again Professor Merrithought may murder me."

Remus watched him go, his mind burning with curiosity.

"You cannot be serious," Emme said, staring at Sirius incredulously. They were gathered at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, waiting for Amanda to join them for detention.

"Why not?" Sirius asked defensively.

"Because Memory Charms are incredibly difficult," Remus intoned, frowning at his friend.

"Not to mention _dangerous,_" Emme added.

"Keep your voices down," Sirius said, glancing around. "It wouldn't do us any good to have her hear our plan."

"_Our_ plan?" Emme said, shaking her head. "No, this is _your_ plan. And it's a terrible one. What if something went wrong?"

"Besides," Remus said, running a hand through his hair. "I'm more worried about Bellatrix."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm not an idiot, Moony," he said. "We'd have to fix her memory too. But if we get Amanda while she's _here_--"

As if cued, Amanda ran into the clearing and skidded to a stop, bending over as she tried to catch her breath. "Sorry I'm late," she said, panting. "I lost track of time."

"You haven't missed much," Remus replied, smiling at her. "We're supposed to gather up a few buckets of Flobberworms in the forest." He bent down and picked up two buckets, offering her one. "Shall we?"

The four of them headed into the trees, pausing as they reached a clearing that seemed promising. "Ugh," Amanda said, lifting her foot as a Flobberworm burst under her shoe. "Could these things be any more disgusting?"

As she bent down to pick up a few of his companions, Sirius pulled his wand from his robes and motioned wildly to Remus as he mouthed, "Can I do it? Can I do it?"

"No!" Remus mouthed back, shaking his head.

Amanda, sensing their awkward silence, glanced up to see Sirius spinning his wand between his fingers as he averted his gaze. "Is something wrong?"

"Nope, nothing's wrong," Remus said, smiling at her reassuringly.

"Yeah, forget about it," Sirius said, his eyes boring into the back of Remus' head.

"Look, I can understand that you guys don't trust me," Amanda said, sighing. "But I swear I won't tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what?" Emme said, her voice light.

She sighed, shaking her head. "I'm not stupid. Bella may be a pathological liar, but come on."

The four of them stared at one another in silence for a moment, the tension almost palpable in the damp air. Sirius gripped his wand, lifting it slowly.

"Wait," Amanda said, pulling out her wand. "Stop!" she said emphatically as Remus and Emme impulsively drew their wands as well. "I know what you want to do, and it's not a good idea." She lowered her wand, though she kept it ready in her hand. "There's no need to charm both of us," she continued, shaking her head. "_I'm_ not going to tell anyone else, but you can be sure Bellatrix will."

"How do we know?" Sirius asked, holding her gaze. "How do we know you won't tell anyone?"

"How about a trade? A secret for a secret."

Sirius rolled his eyes, scoffing. "What are we, twelve?"

Remus shot him a warning look. "Let's hear her out."

They stared at the blonde girl for a long moment, waiting.

"Well?" Emme asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, right," Amanda said, taking a deep breath. "I haven't done this in a while, so we'll see how this goes." She closed her eyes, counting to three under her breath. Suddenly, her body began to rapidly twist and contort in a swirl of orange, and within seconds a small fox sat in her place. Emme let out a quiet gasp as a small smile played across Remus' face.

"Interesting," Sirius said off-handedly as Amanda changed back, rolling her shoulders as she straightened. "But what makes you think this knowledge is comparable to what you know?"

Amanda frowned. "How many underage, unregistered Animagi do you know?"

Sirius and Remus shot each other a look.

"And," Amanda continued, her voice tightening as she started to panic, "_I'll_ erase Bellatrix's memory."

Remus' gaze flew to her. "You will?"

She nodded. "Sure. That way, even if I get caught, they can't link it to you."

Sirius glanced at Emme, though he addressed Amanda. "I don't know. Memory Charms are _extremely difficult_, not to mention _dangerous_," he said, mocking their earlier words. Emme kicked him in the shins.

"I've had some practice with them," Amanda said simply, turning to Remus. "So what do you say?"

Remus thought about it for a moment. "How are you going to do it without getting caught?"

"Well, I've got Muggle Studies with Bellatrix and--"

"Bellatrix is in _Muggle Studies_?"

Amanda nodded. "Apparently it was the only elective that could fit in her schedule."

"That is bloody brilliant," Sirius said. "I can just imagine her skin melting off as she touches a Muggle contraption."

"She definitely hasn't been thrilled," Amanda said, laughing. "Anyway, next week we're working with electricity. I was thinking we could say she'd accidentally zapped herself. That could cause a loss of memory, right?"

Emme nodded. "And I doubt the professor would be surprised at her stupidity."

She shook her head. "No, she won't. But I'll need a diversion," she said. "I can't risk someone seeing me do it."

"I can take care of that," Sirius said, smirking.

"Are you really willing to risk this?" Remus asked, staring at Amanda questioningly.

"Are you really willing to risk Bellatrix crying wolf?" Amanda asked. "Besides, is there anything else I could do to gain your trust?"

"No," Sirius said, overriding Remus' objection and ignoring his glare. "There isn't."

Amanda nodded, stowing her wand. "That's what I thought."


	3. Chapter Two

_Chapter Two_

"_The existence of forgetting has never been proved; we only know that some things do not come to our mind when we want them to."_

_-Friedrich Nietzsche_

The air conditioner hummed and the ceiling fans trudged in circles, but Amanda was still sweating. Her eyes were out of focus while she concentrated only on the sound of the clock's ticking. She counted the seconds, vaguely aware of her classmates' chatter as they pretended to work on their projects.

Without warning, three sharp knocks sounded on the wooden door. Amanda's breath caught as she glanced to her left at Bellatrix. Most of the students looked up as the professor made her way across the room, three more knocks rattling the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she muttered, pulling on the door's handle.

It wasn't even halfway open when the professor yelped, propelling herself backward as a shower of sparks erupted from around the doorframe. Perked up by the only exciting thing to occur in the class's history, the students left their light bulb experiments and stampeded to the door to see a myriad of firecrackers popping all over the marble floor, their colorful sparks dancing in the air.

Bellatrix shook her head in disgust as Professor Burbage scurried off to report the incident and the students streamed into the hallway, laughing as they watched the show. Checking once more to make sure the students were all out of the classroom, Amanda shifted in her chair to angle herself toward Bellatrix. She gulped, her fist so tightly clenched around her wand that she was sure it would cause a permanent indentation in her hand. Bellatrix noticed Amanda's odd behavior and eyed her curiously.

"What, Mudbloods don't like firecrackers? Do you have _any_ redeeming qualities?" she asked, sneering.

"Funny," Amanda said. "I was about to ask you the same thing." She pulled out her wand, drawing in a deep breath.

"Put down your wand, little girl," Bellatrix said, her eyes flashing. "Unless you'd like everyone to know Lupin's little--"

"Obliviate!" Amanda cried, the force of her anger seeming to propel Bella backward as the spell hit her in the chest. Amanda froze, staring at the Slytherin as she lay sprawled across the classroom floor.

"Miss Young?" Amanda whipped around in time to see the professor rushing toward them. "What has happened?"

Amanda panicked, momentarily forgetting her well rehearsed alibi. "She, uh," she began, her blood pounding in her ears. "She…"

"She what?" The professor asked tersely, kneeling down next to Bella as she ran her wand up and down the length of her prone form.

"She…" Amanda felt her chest tightening as she struggled to breathe. "She touched the wire," she finally said in a rush, pointing at their light bulb experiment still sitting on the table.

"Oh, dear," Professor Burbage said, shaking her head. "We always have one who doesn't take the warnings seriously." She sighed, pointing her wand at Bellatrix's chest. "Enervate."

Her eyes fluttered open, the dark lashes casting shadows across her lids. Amanda held her breath, waiting to see if the charm had worked.

"Where am I?" Bella asked in a melodic voice quite unlike her own.

Professor Burbage smiled down at her but addressed Amanda. "Miss Young, will you please take Miss Black to the Hospital Wing?" She reached down and helped Bellatrix to her feet.

Amanda nodded, swallowing hard. "Come on, Bella," she said, heading for the door. "Let's go."

The pale girl didn't move. "Who, me?" she asked after a moment.

Amanda's eyes widened as the professor placed her hands on Bellatrix's shoulders. "Dear," she said kindly, "what's your name?"

Bella frowned as she thought for a moment. "I don't know."

"And, where do you go to school?"

Bella gestured around the room. "Well, here I suppose," she said, a trace of her old sarcasm lacing her tone.

"And where is 'here'?"

A beat of silence passed. "I don't know."

Amanda stared incredulously at Bellatrix, her mouth falling open as she realized what had happened.

"Miss Young? The Hospital Wing?"

"Oh. Right." Amanda left the room in a fervent haze, her hand wrapped around Bellatrix's elbow as she leads her toward the Hospital Wing.

"_Ow_," Bellatrix said as they rounded a corner, wrenching her arm from Amanda's grip. "You don't have to jerk me around," she said haughtily. "I am not a rag doll."

"You don't know what you are," Amanda muttered irritably, grabbing her arm again as they headed down the corridor.

"Hey, wait!" Bella said, balking as she stared at the portraits on the wall. "I think these pictures are _moving_." Amanda quickened her pace. "What's your name, again?"

Amanda ignored her, her heart beating rapidly as she continued to march her down the hall. A headache began to pound over her left eye as Bella continued to babble, her anxiety rising as she realized the depth of the Slytherin's memory loss.

"Amanda?" she heard someone call from behind. She whipped around to see Remus approaching. "How did it…" he trailed off as he saw her companion, his face losing all color.

"Remus!" Amanda dashed toward him. "There was a bit of an accident in Muggle Studies," she said, shaking her head in dismay. "Bella's been electrocuted and seems to have lost _all her memories_." She stared hard into his eyes. "_All_ of them."

"Okay?" he replied, his voice hesitant as he tried to figure out the implication of her words.

"Can you take Bella the rest of the way to the Hospital Wing?" Amanda asked, tugging on the girl's arm as she started to wander off. "I have to go tell the others," she said in a whisper, her voice tight.

"Sure," Remus said, already offering his arm to Bella. "I'll see you in the library," he added pointedly, guiding Bella down the hall and out of sight as the bell rang loudly in the tower.

_Where am I?_ The words rang through Amanda's head, reverberating off her skull. She darted through the hallways, searching for Lily amidst the crowds of students migrating to their next classes. She occasionally stood on her tip-toes, peering around to try and find her. Right as she was racing past the Potions room, she saw the redhead walking in the other direction. "Lily!" She seized her arm and dragged her into an empty classroom nearby. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, you will not believe what just happened."

"Bloody hell, Amanda!" Lily said, rubbing her shoulder. "I like my arm much better _in_ the socket, thank you very much."

"_Lily_," Amanda said, stomping her foot. "Focus! I am going to be in so much trouble." She began pacing, clasping her hands in front of her in an attempt to keep them from shaking.

"What are you talking about?" Lily said, frowning up at her. "Weren't you just in Muggle Studies? What trouble could you possibly have gotten into there?"

Amanda's breath came in short bursts as she spit all her words out in a jumble. "I erased Bellatrix's memory! I only meant to erase part of it, but I think I erased all of it--or most of it--or something. I don't know! But she didn't know who she was or where she was or who I was or--"

"Wait." Lily shook her head quickly, trying to make sense of Amanda's rambling. "You _what_? Why were you trying to erase her memory in the first place?"

"Because she knew that Remus--she knew something about Remus that she shouldn't."

Lily sighed, leaning against a small desk. "I told you, didn't I? I told you last week that hanging out with them would only get you into trouble."

Amanda shook her head fiercely, tugging at her hair. "Can you please save the lecture for later? I have a serious problem! I got carried away, Lily. I erased too much. Now they're going to kick me out, I know it!"

Lily took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. "I'm not going to let my best friend get expelled." She stood, walking toward the window. "Let's think about this rationally; who else knows what you were up to?"

Amanda blinked rapidly, trying to calm her nerves. "Well Remus knew, obviously," she said, sinking into a chair. "And Sirius and Emme, and probably James."

Lily scoffed. "Potter and Sirius wouldn't dare put Remus into jeopardy," she said, but Amanda interrupted her.

"But someone could have _seen_. I mean, most of the students were in the hallway, but Professor Burbage walked up only moments after. What if she _saw what I did_?" Suddenly their firecracker distraction seemed feeble in her mind.

"Did she say anything to you about it?"

"Well, no."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Don't you think she would have?" Amanda stayed silent. "Now, as I was saying, you needn't worry about the boys," she continued, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But it's Emme that concerns me; she's the one who let it slip Remus was a werewolf in the first place."

Amanda gasped. "Wait, you _know_? Emme told you?" She shook her head incredulously. "And she just sat there and feigned ignorance the entire time. What a--"

"It was an accident," Lily said, feeling slightly guilty about outing Emme. "We were discussing our O.W.L. scores at the beginning of the term, and she mentioned missing one of the questions about werewolves--you remember, that one about lunar cycles?--and how she was an idiot to miss it because Remus was… well… you know." She shrugged one shoulder. "She felt awful, but I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone and there didn't seem to be anyone else around. Though now that you mention it," Lily continued, raising her finger as she started to pace, "I think I remember one of the Black sisters slithering by soon after."

"Oh my _God_." Amanda stared up at Lily. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"Right, because you came running to me the moment you found out."

Amanda let her head fall into her hands. "I can't believe it," she said. "Bellatrix threatened to tell everyone; can you imagine? That would have ruined Remus' life." She bit her lip, staring at the desktop. Both girls were silent for a moment. "You know what?" Amanda said, lifting her head. "I don't think I entirely regret what I did."

"Good," Lily said, her eyes flicking toward Amanda as she resumed her pacing. "though your lack of a conscience is not our biggest concern. Right now, our main priority is dealing with the fact that _you melted Bella's brain_." She paused, staring out the window again. "Did you think this through beforehand?" she asked, not unkindly. "What were you planning on telling everyone afterward?"

"We were learning about electricity, so I have an alibi," Amanda said. "The Slytherin's aren't going to buy it, but Professor Burbage seemed convinced. So unless Madam Pomfrey takes issue with it…" She trailed off, staring dismally at the blackboard.

"She won't," Lily said, slowing her pacing as she shook her head. "She's usually pretty good about not asking questions." She paused, facing Amanda. "So, what's the problem here?"

Amanda stared at Lily in disbelief. "_Haven't you been listening?_ I--"

"Right, but you have an alibi," Lily interrupted. "And the Slytherins can't prove shit. It's not like Bella was all that loveable in the first place; if anything, you've made an improvement." She placed her hands on her hips, trying to find a side of the problem she hadn't yet examined. "So… what are we worried about?"

"I…" Amanda began, "but she, and the charm…" She trailed off, frowning. "Well, when you put it that way…" She sighed, standing. "I don't know. I'm supposed to meet the others in the library to tell them how it went."

"Okay, let's go."

Lily followed her as she walked to the door, peering cautiously around the frame. They bent their heads as they slipped into the hallway, rushing past the few classroom doors that remained ajar as they hastened toward the library. Two flights of stairs and one tense run-in with the caretaker later,the two girls found themselves hurrying toward the tables at the back of the library.

"Amanda!" Emme cried as they came into view. "We were just starting to worry…" She trailed off as she saw Amanda's ashen complexion.

"What happened?" Sirius asked, his voice tight. "Where's Remus?"

"He's taking Bella to the Hospital Wing," she replied as she threw herself into a chair.

"The Hospital Wing?" Emme whispered, leaning across the table. "Amanda… what _happened_?"

"I screwed up," she said miserably, laying her head in her hands. "I don't know what happened. She said something about Remus being--"

"Amanda," Sirius interrupted loudly, staring past her. "Do you really think--in present company--that this is the best time to discuss this?"

"What?" Amanda asked, glancing around to see if anyone was nearby. "But there's no one --" She saw Lily standing beside her and remembered she wasn't supposed to be a part of the plan. "Oh."

"I was just on my way to Slughorn's office," Lily said, squeezing Amanda's shoulder and heading for the door. "See you at dinner."

"You've got to be more careful," Sirius said, shaking his head once she was out of sight. "We've kept this a secret for five years, and it's already been leaked once." Amanda's gaze flashed to Emme, who had cast her eyes downward, fiddling with a stray thread on her cuff. "We can't let it happen again."

"Sorry," Amanda said, still focused on Emme. "Really."

Sirius had just opened his mouth to speak when Remus barrelled around the corner, leaning against a chair as he caught his breath.

"Moony, you alright?" Sirius asked.

Remus waved a hand. "Just ran here from the Hospital Wing," he said, still panting. "Madam Pomfrey wants to see you, Amanda."

"What?" Her face drained of color. "Why?"

"I don't think she suspects anything," he said quickly, shaking his head. "She just wants to know what happened."

"As do we all," Sirius said pointedly, leaning back in his chair.

"You haven't told them?" Remus asked, perplexed.

"I erased Bella's memory," Amanda said flatly.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that was kind of the plan. You were _supposed_ to--"

"All of it."

Sirius stared at her for a moment. "What?"

"I erased her _entire memory_," Amanda said, slamming her fist against the table and drawing a fierce glare from the librarian as she passed.

Remus shook his head. "I don't think it's as bad as you think it is," he said. "When I left she'd already remembered who and where she was, though she still couldn't recollect me at all."

"Well, at least that's something to be thankful for," Emme said, her countenance somewhat brightened.

Amanda was unconvinced. "But if she started to remember _some_ things, what's to say she won't remember that as well?"

Nobody spoke for a minute as they stared at one another, fully aware of the volatile situation they had put themselves in.

"Well," Sirius said slowly, "We'll just have to wait and see."

Lily slipped out of the library, barely dodging Remus as he rushed down the corridor, mumbling a quick, "Sorry, Lily," as he passed.

"It's alright," she said, but he had already disappeared behind the heavy doors. She sighed, hitching her bag up on her shoulder as she headed for Gryffindor Tower. She climbed through the Portrait Hole, dashing up the stairs to the girls' dormitory and grabbing the large jar of crystrallized pineapple from her dresser.

As she made her way toward the dungeons, she rehearsed what she was going to say to Professor Slughorn. She couldn't very well blame Potter for her ruined potion as she didn't have any proof, but she was fairly sure with the right words she'd be able to persuade him to allow her to re-do her Shrinking Solution.

"_Potter_," she grumbled, readjusting the strap on her shoulder as she rounded a corner and ran face first into another student.

The sound of the glass jar shattering echoed off the stone walls and faded into the high ceiling. "I am _so sorry_," Lily said quickly, bending down to help the boy up. "I wasn't…" She froze, her hand halfway extended. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

James Potter stared up at her from the cold stone floor, surrounded by a halo of broken glass and bright yellow candy. "Hello, Lily," he said, taking her arm and heaving himself off the floor.

She snatched her hand back as soon as he was on his feet, glowering at him. "Why is it always _you_?"

"Huh?" he said, brushing himself off as he straightened his robes. "So where were you headed?"

"Nowhere," Lily snapped, staring at the crystallized pineapple scattered across the corridor.

"Sorry about that," James said, following her gaze. He took out his wand, waving it lazily as he said, "Reparo."

The sparkling contents shot into the air, the glass sealing itself together around the sugared candy. He caught the jar as it solidified, offering it to Lily. "Good as new." He winked at her, grinning.

She took it from him without thanks, stomping past him as she went deeper into the dungeons. She frowned as James casually fell into step beside her. "What are you doing?" she asked, annoyed.

"I'm walking you wherever you're going," he replied, smiling jauntily.

"No, you're not," she said, stopping dead in her tracks.

"Why not?"

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Don't you have anywhere else to be?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "Well, I was headed to the library, but I don't mind a detour."

"I do." She stared at him and pointed in the direction she had come. "Go."

"But--"

"Besides," Lily said, sidling over to the nearest door. "I'm already here."

James raised his eyebrows, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "_This_ is where you were going?"

"Yes," she said, placing a hand on her hip.

"You're lying."

She scowled at him, shaking her head. "I'm not."

"I don't believe you."

"So?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "Okay," he said, nodding toward the wooden door. "Go on in."

Lily rolled her eyes, reaching her hand out and tugging on the brass handle. The door didn't budge. Frowning, she pulled out her wand and muttered, "Alohomora." She tried the handle again, but the door remained locked.

She heard James chuckling and she snapped her head around, glaring at him. He pushed himself away from the wall, stepping in front of her as he withdrew his wand from his robes. Leaning down, he whispered a spell Lily couldn't hear as he tapped his wand against the smooth wood. Without a sound, the door swung outward, revealing an empty broom closet. "Again I say, _this_ is where you were going?"

She resisted the urge to smack the dark framed glasses from his smirking face. "Ugh," Lily said, "you are _so_--"

"Witty? Handsome? Dashing?"

"_Infuriating_," she seethed, slamming the door to the broom closet as she stomped down the corridor. She rounded the corner and listened for his footsteps behind her, surprised when she heard none. Pushing James from her mind, she tried to gather her bearings. She was about to head down the hallway when she heard someone approaching, their voice tense. Instinctively she slipped into a shallow alcove, hiding in the shadows behind a large suit of armor.

"…accident my _arse_," Lily heard as the voice drew nearer. "How thick can Pomfrey be?" She shrank back as Narcissa came into view, tossing her long hair over her shoulder. Lucius followed closely behind.

"Do they really think they're so slick?" the pale boy said, rolling his eyes. "I saw Sirius Black high tailing it around the corner from the Muggle Studies room just before the fireworks went off."

Narcissa scowled. "And that blonde Mudblood showed up at the Hospital Wing and spun her pathetic tale of _electrocution_," she spat. "Between her and Black, I haven't a doubt…"

Lily held her breath, their voices fading into the distance as they passed. She waited until she was sure they were out of sight before slipping into the corridor and rushing toward the Great Hall, all thoughts of Slughorn forgotten.

James slouched down the stairs, yawning as he stepped into the Common Room, He spotted Sirius and Remus in the corner, conversing in low whispers. Sirius glanced up, frowning as he beckoned James toward them.

"S'wrong, Padfoot?" James asked, stifling another yawn.

Sirius' frown deepened as he motioned to Remus. "Ask Sir Trusts Alot."

"What's going on?" James asked, turning to his other friend.

Remus leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Well, I was think--"

"He thinks we should tell that Young girl about us," Sirius interrupted, swinging his legs over the arm of the chair.

James raised an eyebrow. "'Us'?"

"Yeah, _Prongs_," Sirius continued. "You know, _us_." He lifted his thumbs to his temples, splaying his fingers like giant antlers. A group of passing girls stopped to giggle. Sirius swept his hands through his hair, swiftly turning their laughter into sighs.

"Wait," James said. "Young? The girl who sent Bella's brain into oblivion?"

"Yes, that's her," Remus said, leaning back and folding his arms. "I don't see why we_ shouldn't_ tell her."

"I don't know, Moony," James said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I think I'm gonna have to go with Sirius on this one."

"Finally, a voice of reason," Sirius said, sinking back into his chair.

"I mean," James continued, "we just met this girl. Who's to say she can be trusted?"

"But she's one too," Remus countered. "And she erased Bella's memory for me. Why would she tell anyone?"

"Why do the Slytherins stink?" Sirius asked, staring lazily at the ceiling. "Some things have no reasoning. Besides," he added, narrowing his eyes at Remus. "She'd still have one up on us, and she--" He broke off mid-sentence as the door to the girl's dormitories opened, releasing a flood of girls into the Common Room. Amanda's tall frame was easily visible among them, her blonde hair falling over her face as she talked with a girl hidden amidst the crowd. She glanced up as she passed them, smiling as she made her way to their corner.

"Hey," she said, setting her satchel down on the large end table. James and Sirius stayed silent, studying her face.

"G'morning," Remus said, smiling awkwardly. "Heading to breakfast?"

"Yeah," she replied, giving the other boys a queer look. "What's up?"

"Amanda, are you coming?" James' head snapped up as Lily waltzed into view, her long hair tied back in a black ribbon.

"Go on ahead," Amanda replied, smiling. "I'll catch up." The short girl shrugged, hitching her bag up on her shoulder as she rejoined the crowd. "Anyway," she said, turning back to the boys. "I just wanted to tell you that--"

"_You're friends with Lily Evans_?" James interrupted, staring up at her in awe.

"Umm, yeah," Amanda said. "Why? Oh," she said, nodding in understanding. "You're totally into her aren't--"

"What was it you were going to say?" Sirius said in an attempt to change the subject before James got any ideas.

"Oh, right." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she leaned toward them. "Last night Lily heard Narcissa and Lucius talking. They know it was one of us--the Bella thing."

Remus nodded, saying, "Well, I suppose it's not really that surprising. We knew they'd figure it out eventually; they aren't as stupid as they look."

"So, what do we do now?"

"Nothing," Remus answered.

"Nothing?" Sirius and Amanda said in unison. James continued to look back and forth between Amanda and the Portrait Hole, oblivious to their conversation.

"What can they prove?"

"Well, nothing, but what if Narcissa also knows about your _condition_?" Amanda said.

"Why would she?"

"Well, I just figured that if Bellatrix knew, she would have told her."

Remus sighed heavily. "If she did, there's nothing we can do about it now. We're not trying another Memory Charm--not after this disaster." Amanda cast her eyes downward and Remus mentally slapped himself. "I didn't mean it that--"

"It's okay," Amanda said, looking up at him. "It _has_ been kind of a disaster." She attempted a smile, saying, "But we'll think of something."

"We?"

Amanda nodded. "Your problem's my problem."

"It is?"

"Yeah, it is."

Remus smiled as he glanced pointedly at Sirius, who rolled his eyes and coughed loudly.

Amanda raised her eyebrows, glancing between the boys as she said, "Anyway, I'm starved. See you guys in Transfiguration."

Sirius turned to James the moment Amanda had disappeared through the Portrait Hole. "James?" he said, leveling his gaze. He could almost see the wheels turning in James' mind as he stared into the distance. "Prongs? Jamesie?" He snapped his fingers twice in front of his friends' face. "Damn," Sirius said, throwing himself back into the armchair. "I've lost him."

"So, is she in?" Remus asked, eyeing James.

"Oh, she is so in," James said, his eyes still on the Portrait Hole. Sirius let out a derisive noise, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at the floor.

Remus grinned.


	4. Chapter Three

_Chapter Three_

"_Guilt is regret for what we've done.  
Regret is guilt for what we didn't do."_

"What the hell?"

"What?" Remus asked, looking at James as he stared over Remus's shoulder toward the entrance to the Great Hall.

"Bellatrix Black is heading right for you, mate."

Remus felt a tap on his shoulder. He froze for a second, then slowly turned his head to meet her hesitant gaze.

"Hey," she said, smiling. "I just wanted to thank you for yesterday."

"Yeah," Remus said, furrowing his brow. "Umm, no problem."

"I really--" she began, but froze as she continued to stare at him, her eyes widening. She averted her gaze, muttering a short farewell before hastening toward the Slytherin table. Remus, James, and Sirius stared after her, their mouths slightly open.

"What on earth was that about?" Remus asked, aghast.

James and Sirius erupted in laughter. "Why Moony, I think someone may have a crush."

Remus sank into his chair, the back of his neck reddening with embarrassment.

"Do you, Remus, take this venomous snake to be your magically wedded wife?" James asked.

"Cut it _out_," Remus pleaded. "Please."

"Bellatrix wants to snog you," Sirius said. "Do you really not see the humor in this?"

"She doesn't want to snog me," Remus said. "She's just confused." He scanned the hall, hoping no one had witnessed Bellatrix's odd behavior. He saw Amanda and Lily at the other end of the table, eyeing him curiously. Amanda mouthed, "What's going on?" but he just looked back at his plate.

"Where would you like to go on our honeymoon, Sweetie?" Sirius asked James.

"We could go to the Caribbean! I really do need a tan," James said.

"How about to hell? They have a tropical climate. Oh, but you've already been there and back, haven't you?"

Remus met Bella's gaze for a split second before she suddenly stood and ran out of the hall. James and Sirius exchanged glances, then started chuckling again. Remus shoved Sirius.

"Look, she heard you. She's _crying_."

"So?" Sirius said.

Remus shook his head, pushing away from the table and following her out of the Great Hall. James's stood up, subconsciously ready to run after him. Pumpkin juice dripped out of Sirius's gaping mouth. Before they could say anything to each other, they heard another voice.

"What was that all about?" Amanda asked, sliding into the seat Remus had vacated. Lily stood behind her.

"I haven't a bloody clue," Sirius said.

"Seems like Bella's lost her thick skin," James said. "I think Moony's gone to… comfort her?" He sounded as though he couldn't believe his own words.

"He _what_?" Amanda asked. She glanced over at the Slytherins, all of whom seemed just as confused. "Wonder what's gotten into him."

"What's gotten into me?" Bellatrix had asked her sister as she threw herself into a seat at the Slytherin table.

"What were you doing with _them_? I told you to stay with us until--"

"I didn't know he was a Gryffindor!"

Lucius snorted. "I thought you lost your memory, not your mind. He's wearing red and gold."

"I see that _now_," Bellatrix growled. She banged her forehead on the table. "Ugh!"

"What did you want with him anyway?" Narcissa asked, pulling her sister up by her hair.

"Nothing."

"Bella--"

"He was _nice_ yesterday," Bellatrix said, her expression miserable.

"I'm going to lose my lunch," said Snape, who was eavesdropping from a few seats down.

"Shut it," Narcissa said. "This isn't a game. Bella, he's not one of us." She glanced across the room at the far table. "Not only is he a Gryffindor, but for God's sake he's a _half-blood_."

Bellatrix listened to her sister's words, but her heart was racing. She looked at Remus, who seemed to be blushing immensely while his friends laughed hysterically. They were insulting her. He was embarrassed to be seen with her.

And she couldn't remember why.

"I can't stay here," she said.

"What? Where are you going?" Narcissa asked, yanking on her sleeve. "Don't go back over there."

"I'm _not_," she said, her voice cracking. She stood and hurried from the hall, keeping her head low as tears spilled down her cheeks. She burst into the Entrance Hall and turned the corner blindly, sinking into the shadows of a nearby alcove. Resting her chin on her fists, she didn't look up when she heard footsteps approaching.

"Bellatrix?"

She kept her head down, mortified that he had followed her. "Go away," she muttered to the floor.

"I'm sorry about that," Remus said in a low voice, as if speaking too loudly would shatter her new persona and reveal the old Bella.

"Is that all you came to tell me?" she asked, finally looking up.

Remus blinked. "Well, yeah, I guess."

"Look, don't worry," she said, standing up next to him. "I won't embarrass you in front of your little friends again." She turned to walk away.

"No, it's not like that," he said, surprised after he spoke the words.

She stopped and turned back. "Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"All … nice."

Remus took a few steps closer to her. "I know you must be confused. I just wanted to help."

"I'm beyond help," she said, turning and walking off without another word.

"What the hell is she thinking?" Narcissa said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"She's _not_ thinking," Lucius replied, twirling his wand between his fingers. "She hasn't been acting anything like herself."

"When did this all start, anyway?" a tall boy said, throwing himself down in a high backed armchair.

"This morning at breakfast," Snape said, laughing derisively. "I guess the shock from the electricity caused her to become delusional as well as clueless."

"Keep your voice down," Narcissa hissed, glancing around the Common Room. "We don't need the entire House filled in on our… predicament." Though most of the stiff green chairs were empty, she lowered her voice to a whisper as she continued, "We _must_ make her see reason before the entire school sees them together." She threw her silky blonde hair over her shoulder. "Andromeda and Sirius have disgraced us enough," she spat, leaning back against the cold leather. "I cannot continue to carry this family myself."

"I don't understand," the tall boy spoke up again, his thick brows knitting in confusion. "How did losing her memory cause her to fall for that half-blood?"

Lucius sighed, his voice growing annoyed. "We don't _know_, Avery," he said, glancing at him from across the marble end table.

"It's odd," Narcissa said, frowning. "I talked to her at lunch, and she doesn't seem to have lost her enmity for the rest of them."

"Just Lupin?"

"Just him."

They were all silent for a moment as they contemplated the situation. Suddenly, Snape looked around at the others, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "So… why don't we just let her keep it up?"

Narcissa's head snapped up as she glared at him. "_Have you lost your mind, Severus_?" she seethed, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Would you expect me to let my own sister run around fraternizing with that _filth_?"

Snape shook his head. "Just think about it: the closer she is to Lupin, the closer she'll be to the rest of that arrogant pack of blood traitors. Don't you want to know who did this to her?" he asked. "We're already fairly certain it was one of them," he continued. "Wouldn't it be even easier to discover the truth with someone on the inside?"

Narcissa scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Severus, they aren't just going to go chatting about it _right in front of her_."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Lucius tilted his head to one side. "They're Gryffindors; they aren't that bright."

"Especially if Bella gets one of them going," Avery added.

"And," Lucius said, resting his elbows on his knees, "we've been looking for a way to settle the score over the last Quidditch match."

Avery nodded. "How's your nose, by the way?"

Lucius scowled. "It's fine, Pomfrey can fix practically anything. It's my Quidditch robes that were ruined. What with the blood and the massive tear Potter left--"

"_Can we please focus on the topic at hand_?" Narcissa hissed. "Bella may have forgotten that half-blood at first, but more and more seems to be coming back to her. Eventually she's going to be back to normal."

"True," Avery said. "Unless…" He looked at Lucius, his eyebrows raised.

"Unless we give her a push in the right direction," Lucius concluded, nodding.

"_What_?"

"If we can get her to stick with Lupin for just a little while," the blonde boy continued, "we could--"

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Narcissa asked haughtily.

Lucius frowned, considering. "Well, I'd rather not try any memory modification in her current state." He looked at the other boys. "Snape? Avery?"

"Well," Snape said, "I suppose a low grade love potion would suffice--"

"_Excuse me_?"

"It would keep her infatuated enough to do our work, though it'll wear off every day. We'd have to slip it to her every morning--"

"Stop!" Narcissa cried, holding up her hands. "I am not going to give my sister a love potion so she can spend more time with that filthy Gryffindor! Besides, if she's smitten with Lupin, do you really think she'd help you with whatever you're scheming?"

Lucius nodded. "She will--if she thinks we're on her side." Narcissa raised her eyebrows. "Let her like Lupin," he continued, shrugging one shoulder. "If we act like we support her, her alliance will still rest with us."

Narcissa glowered at the three boys, her face acquiring a sour expression. They waited patiently as she sorted out the details in her head. After a long minute of silence, Narcissa drew herself up, lifting her nose in the air as she said, "Fine, but you better be damn sure we get something out of this."

"Lily, come on."

"No."

"Please?"  
"_No_."

"But I already--"

"Well that's your fault then, isn't it?"

Amanda sighed, sitting down on the edge of her mattress. "Yes," she conceded, "I'll admit it. I should've asked you first." Lily smiled satisfactorily as she unbuttoned her white blouse, tossing it into the wash basket in the corner. Amanda kicked off her shoes, shoving them under the bed. "So, will you come?"

"No."

"Agh!" Amanda chewed the inside of her lip, contemplating her options. "Since when did you lose your nerve?" she asked, trying a different tactic. "What happened to the girl who snuck into the Restricted Section of the library just to find that Hellfire charm for me?"

Lily laughed, tugging on a black tank over her cotton sleep pants. "This has nothing to do with nerve," she said as she seated herself in front of the wide vanity they shared. "I'm not opposed to breaking the rules, I'm opposed to spending four hours with that arrogant Potter. If I show up, he'll probably end up splattering himself all over the ground as he attempts to fly from the Astronomy Tower." She picked up a brush and began to run it through her long hair. "So really, I'm skipping out of concern for his safety."

Amanda half smiled, shaking her head. "You know, he's really not as bad as you think."

"Oh?" was all Lily said.

"Yeah," Amanda replied, pushing the subject. "You know, I bet if you came tonight you'd see--"

"No."

"_Lily_."

"_Amanda_."

Amanda glowered as Lily mocked her whining tone. "Fine," she grumbled, flopping back onto her bed.

"I'm not even friends with Sirius, why would he want me at his party? Just go without me," Lily said, pulling her hair over her left shoulder as she began twisting it into a long braid.

Amanda blew out a long breath of air. "I can't," she said, staring up at the top of her four poster.

"Why not?"

"I just can't. I already told them you're going; they'll hate me if I show up without you."

Lily frowned, turning to face her. "What? Why?"

Amanda sat up, rolling her eyes. "Oh, we both know you're the star of the show," she said, messing with her hair in an attempt to do a James impression. "Oh Lily… let's run away together and have little bespeckled babies."

Lily rolled her eyes, chucking her hairbrush at Amanda's head. "Ugh, gag me. Can you imagine a miniature James running around this place? What a nightmare."

"Picture him with red hair." She walked over to Lily, putting her hands on her head and ruffling her hair. "That's what your kids would look like," she said, grabbing a stick of eyeliner from the marble tabletop and tracing a dark pair of glasses on the mirror. "Voila! James Potter Jr."

Lily stared at her reflection for a long moment, her green eyes blazing between the pseudo frames. She shook her head, dispelling the image as she let out a short laugh. "The Potter Boys: Bane of Girls' Existence Since 1961."

"Remus is the bane of _my_ existence," Amanda said, throwing up her hands as she flopped back onto her bed. "Did you know he's bringing Bellatrix tonight? _Bellatrix_."

"Bellatrix _Black_?" Lily asked, turning from the mirror to gape at Amanda. "And Sirius is okay with this?"

Amanda shook her head. "Of course not, but what else are they going to do? Bellatrix has been following Remus around _all week_ and he's been catering to her insanity! He's such a goddamn pushover."

"What on earth is he thinking?"

"Ugh, don't even get me started," Amanda said. "Now I know why he was so nice to me: he's nice to _everybody_--even the scum of the earth!" Amanda sighed as she lay back on the comforter. "Stupid bitch."

Lily frowned, drumming her fingers against the marble as she warred with her senses. "Fine," she said finally, sighing heavily.

"Huh?" Amanda asked, glancing over.

"Fine, _I'll go_."

"You will?" Amanda jumped up and ran to Lily, hugging her awkwardly from behind the chair. "What made you change your mind?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Lily said, raising her eyebrows. "This Bellatrix thing is going to piss James off _so much_; you think I'm going to pass up the chance to see the look on his face?" She laughed. "Plus, there's no way I'm letting you spend the evening alone with Bellatrix."

"Well I wouldn't exactly be _alone_--"

"Do you want me to come or not?"

"Of course!"

"But," she added, narrowing her eyes at Amanda, "this is _only_ for moral support. If I find out this is a setup, you are so dead."

"Define '_dead'_," Amanda said, smirking as she stood up straight. "But really, I swear it's not a setup." She smiled reassuringly into the mirror at Lily and then looked at her watch. "Now I have exactly six minutes to figure out what to wear. Help? Please?"

"Oh. My. God." Amanda stared at herself in the tall mirror. "I look like a--"

"Fox," Lily interrupted, stepping over a pair of discarded jeans. Their dormitory was littered with dozens of rejected outfits, camisoles and t-shirts strewn across their beds. "Here, try this." Lily tossed her a dark cotton scarf, standing back to admire her handiwork.

Amanda's long legs stretched out and away from a ruffled navy skirt they had discovered at the bottom of Lily's trunk. Above it she wore a simple white tee that clung to her body, accentuation her curves. "I can't wear this," she said as she tugged at the hem of the skirt. "It's so _short_."

"Well, it does look a lot longer on me," Lily conceded, tilting her head to the side.

"No shit, you're practically a midget." Lily ignored her as she sifted through her jewelry box. "I have to change. How about those black pants with the--"

"No time," Lily said, extracting a pair of silver hoops. "We were supposed to meet them downstairs five minutes ago."

"But I--ow!" Amanda cried as Lily attempted to shove the earrings into her ears. "I can do it myself!" she grumbled, snatching them from Lily's hands. "What about you? Do you plan on going in your pajamas? James would love that."

Lily rolled her eyes, sifting through a pile of clothes until she found a dark pair of jeans. She quickly slipped out of her sleep pants, kicking them under the bed as she wiggled into the fading denim. "Okay," she said, tugging the zipper up. "I'm ready."

"What?" Amanda said, staring at Lily in her simple black tank. "You get to be Nancy Normal, and I have to wear this?"

Lily shrugged, snatching her sweater from the bedpost as she headed for the door. "I haven't got anyone to impress," she said, grinning over her shoulder at her friend. "So are we going to this thing or what?"

"Yes," Amanda sighed, slipping on her shoes as she followed Lily down the stairs.

They found Sirius, Emme, and James clustered around the fire in an otherwise empty Common Room. "Hey," Amanda said, "Sorry we're late." She paused as she reached their group of chairs. "Where's Remus?"

"Where do you think?" Sirius asked, rising from his seat. "Off picking up dear little Bella; they're meeting us at the tower."

"Hi Lily," James said softly. Amanda could tell by the look on his face that he was surprised she'd shown.

"Hello Potter," she said, glancing at him briefly. "So, shall we?" she said, looking around at the rest of them.

The five of them filed out the Portrait Hole, Lily leading the way. At the end of the corridor she made to turn left, but James caught her sleeve, smiling as he shook his head.

"This way," he said, tugging on her arm as he and Sirius lead them to the right.

"But that's not the way to the Astronomy Tower," Lily said, frowning as she planted her feet.

Sirius grinned. "We know a shortcut."

Lily raised an eyebrow and glanced at Amanda, who shrugged shortly as she headed down the corridor after Sirius. James smiled, offering her his hand as the others rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. "What do you say we leave the navigation to me?" he said, flashing her a wide smile. Lily rolled her eyes, brushing past him as she trailed after the rest of the group. James sighed, following.

They stopped in front of a bare expanse of wall, two torches set high in the rough stone. Sirius extended a hand toward the one on the right, but James stopped him with a short shake of his head.

"It's Tuesday, Padfoot," he said, reaching for the other torch. He grasped the long handle and tugged it from its bracket, the flickering light dancing across his face. The stone shuddered briefly before sliding smoothly to the side, revealing a narrow passageway. "Ladies first," he said, stepping aside to allow the girls access.

Amanda stepped into the secret corridor, her skin tingling with excitement. "How did you guys find this place?" she asked, laying a hand against the cool stone.

"Don't bother asking," Emme said as she joined her, looking unimpressed. "They won't tell you--trust me, I've tried. Here, this way." She grabbed Amanda's arm and led her into the shadows.

They made their way down the passage guided by the light of the torch James still held in his hand. At the end of the hallway they made a right, following the smooth curve of the stone. Here and there Amanda saw other passageways leading off in separate directions, but they bypassed all of these until they reached a dead end with a heavy wooden door barring further passage. She squinted in the flickering light, making out the letters AT roughly hewn into the wood. Amanda reached out and tugged the handle, but it wouldn't budge.

"Try tapping it and saying _Ouvert_," Sirius said, peering over her shoulder.

Amanda pulled out her wand and touched it lightly to the handle, repeating the spell. "_Ouvert_." With a sharp click, the handle turned and the door swung open onto a darkened stairwell.

"Hey," Lily said as she stepped onto the landing. "Aren't these the stairs to the--"

"Astronomy Tower," James said, placing the torch in an empty bracket. "Have a little faith."

Lily frowned, though Amanda could have sworn she saw a smile building behind her eyes. "I don't remember there being a door halfway up the…" But Lily trailed off as she turned around to see an unbroken expanse of stone. Her eyes flicked to the torch on the wall, and she nodded in understanding. "Impressive."

James' mouth fell open as Lily started up the stairs. He turned to Sirius, gaping. "Did she just…?"

"Compliment you? Yeah, mate, I think she did," Sirius replied.

"Don't get used to it," they heard her call.

Lily opened the door at the top of the stairwell just as Emme conjured a small table out of thin air and proceeded to up-end her bag on top of it. Out spilled a few bottles of firewhiskey, some pumpkin pasties, and an assortment of licorice wands, chocolate frogs, and cauldron cakes.

"What did you do, raid Honeydukes?" Amanda asked as she glanced at the contents of Emme's bag strewn across the table. "Hey--I didn't even think these were out yet!" she added, picking up a small black candy and examining it.

"They're not," Sirius said, plucking it from her hand and popping it in his mouth. As he crushed it between his teeth he went still for a moment, his brow knitting together. Then, without warning, he turned his head to the side and coughed, a yellow tongue of flame shooting from his mouth and narrowly missing James as he joined them.

"Oy, watch it!" James shouted as he ducked under the ball of fire. Sirius coughed loudly, placing a hand on his knee as he gasped for breath. Amanda took a small step away from the black candies.

"You know, I heard they make those with dried dragon's tongue," Lily said, tugging on the cork of a firewhiskey bottle.

Sirius grimaced, sticking his tongue out and wiping it with his hand. "You know, I don't really think I needed to know that."

She shrugged, smiling as she gave the cork another forceful yank.

"Sirius, open my present first!" Emme said, beaming and shoving the neatly wrapped gift at his chest.

"Bloody hell," he said, staggering backward a few steps. "I hope it's body armor."

"Oh, it's much better than that," Emme said, watching intently as he ripped the beautiful packaging apart.

"The Howlers' new CD?" Sirius asked, holding the square case in the moonlight. "How did you know they're—"

"Your favorite band? Please," Emme said, winking at him. "Do you like it?"

"It's perfect," he said, racking his brain for the piece of memory about Emme's favorite _anything_.

"Need some help?" James asked, sidling over to stand next to Lily.

She ignored him, glowering at the bottle. "No."

"Here, let me see it," he said, reaching for the bottle.

"No."

"Lily, come on--"

"I can do it myself." She tugged on the cork, gritting her teeth with the effort. She readjusted her grip and twisted her hand, attempting to rend the bottle's hold. When the cork still didn't budge she sighed, begrudgingly extending it toward James.

He pulled his wand out as he took it from her, smiling. With a quick tap on the bottleneck the cork shot out with a small _pop_. James caught it deftly midair, grinning as he offered it to Lily.

She rolled her eyes, ignoring the proffered cork as she reached for the bottle in his other hand.

"Be careful," James said as she took the firewhiskey, "that stuff's pretty strong. Are you sure you wouldn't rather have some pumpkin…" He trailed off as she threw her head back and took a long swig from the bottle.

"You were saying?" she asked, raising her eyebrows as she offered it to him.

James tilted his head, bowing playfully. "I stand corrected." He accepted the bottle and took a pull from it himself; he could taste her lipgloss on its rim and his breath caught, causing him to inhale a large amount of whiskey. He spluttered, spraying the liquid everywhere as he choked. When he finally caught his breath he immediately started in on an apology. "I'm so sorry," he began, horrified that he had probably spit the firewhiskey straight in her face. "I didn't mean to…" But he found himself once more at a loss for words as he glanced up to find her _laughing_.

"What _is_ it with you?" she said, shaking her head as she continued to chuckle. She grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped it across her bare shoulder.

James smiled and opened his mouth but closed it quickly, unsure of how to react to this new Lily. Luckily he was spared answering as the door to the stairwell creaked open and Remus and Bella stepped out into the night air.

The small group fell silent, all eyes focused on the mismatched pair before them. Bella's long hair fell loosely around her shoulders, her dark eyes shining under thick lashes. She scanned the small group of Gryffindors and, locking eyes with Amanda, deliberately reached out and took Remus' hand. He looked faintly nauseous.

"Uh, Happy Birthday, Sirius," Remus said into the awkward silence. Nobody moved. "Here, I brought you these." He extracted his hand from Bella's and dug around inside his robes, eventually pulling out a small bundle of long fireworks. Sirius cleared his throat, a thin tendril of smoke escaping from between his lips.

"I better take those," Emme said, eyeing Sirius as the smoke dissipated into the air above them. "We wouldn't want him blowing up the entire tower."

Remus frowned, shoving his hands back into his pockets before Bella had a chance to reclaim one of them. Amanda smiled, and the Slytherin scowled at her darkly.

"What do you mean--" Remus began, but Sirius interrupted him.

"Don't ask," he said, shaking his head. "Just steer clear of the Pepper Imps, mate."

"Was that was it was?" James asked. "Aww, but we just got those! Maybe you just didn't do it right," he said, reaching a hand toward the cluttered table.

"I think I would know how to eat a piece of candy, Prongs," Sirius said, raising his eyebrows. "You, on the other hand, still need to learn how to swallow."

James glared at Sirius, but dropped the small black ball back into the bowl.

"Smart move," Lily said from over his shoulder.

He turned to look at her for a long moment and smiled. "Two compliments in one day?" he said, leaning jauntily against the table. "I knew you'd come around."

Lily's face deadpanned, and she rolled her eyes as she turned to walk away.

"Wait!" James said, grabbing her sleeve. "It was… a joke?"

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, it wasn't," he said, sighing. He saw the corners of her mouth twitch. "But can't we just, you know, talk? Like normal people?"

She considered his question for a moment. "Can the _Great James Potter_ even act like a normal person?"

James shrugged. "He can try."

Sirius watched James and Lily walk toward the other end of the tower. _Figures_, he thought to himself. _It's just like James to leave me here to deal with Moony and his seriously impaired judgment._ He sighed, turning back to Remus. "So, what do you say we light some of these things off, eh?"

Remus nodded, relief flooding his face. "The yellow ones have extra long fuses," he said, stepping over to the table. They sorted through the small stack, pulling out an assortment of brightly colored fireworks.

"You know what would go great with these?" Sirius said as they leaned their new bundle against the tower's edge.

"What?" Remus asked, glancing up at him.

"Those salamanders Professor Kettleburn showed us last week in class."

Remus frowned, shaking his head. "But we haven't got time to go all the way across the grounds to the bonfire," he said. "Besides, the fire's been put out since then, and they only live as long as the fire they sprung from still burns."

Sirius waved away the reasoning. "Kettleburn keeps a whole mess of them in the fireplace in his office--I saw them the other day when I was serving detention," he said, grinning. "And his office is just below us! I'll be right back." He started toward the door but Remus caught his arm.

"I'll get them," he said, shaking his head. "It's your birthday, and if you get caught by the professor again he may just have you expelled." He tugged open the door and dashed down the stairs before anyone could protest.

They all stared at Bella awkwardly, glancing back and forth at one another. She fumed, glaring at the door Remus had just disappeared through. Emme cleared her throat, and Amanda averted her gaze, glancing toward the starry sky.

"So," Sirius said, attempting to take control of the moment. "What else do we have here, Emme?" he asked, turning his back on Bella as he shuffled through the food scattered about the table. Amanda was just about to join in on their discussion when Bella spoke to her.

"You must be Amanda," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes."

"Remus talks about you quite a bit."

Amanda's heart skipped a beat. "Does he?"

"Don't flatter yourself," she said, smirking as she crossed her arms. "He usually tells me about how you wormed your way into their little group."

"Sure he does," Amanda replied, fighting to keep her face expressionless.

"If you think about it," Bella continued, glancing across the tower at Lily and James, "you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for your little Mudblood friend." Amanda's pulse quickened, her temper flaring. "They're just using you," she stated derisively, holding Amanda's gaze. "And once Potter has his prize, you'll be dropped like a hot cauldron."

"I don't believe that," she said, but she winced as her heard James' deep laugh and Lily's trilling voice. "What are you doing with Remus, anyway?" she spat, glaring at Bellatrix. "You're a Slytherin, yet you're following him around like he's Salazar himself."

Bella's lip curled back in an ugly sneer. "You mean the way you used to follow Julian around?"

Amanda felt every muscle in her body tighten; her knees locked, and she was suddenly lightheaded. "Excuse me?"

Bella let her head fall back, laughing cruelly. "I may have lost _my_ memory, but that doesn't mean my friends did as well." She leaned toward Amanda, lowering her voice. "Lucius told me about you, about your past. Do you miss him?" She saw the blonde's fists clench against her sides. "Narcissa says he misses you--the way you used to do anything he asked. Is that why you need Remus? To--"

"I don't need Remus," Amanda said, "and you don't know shit about my past."

"I bet I know a lot more then your little friends. Here, let's ask them--"

"Say anything and I'll blast your memory back to 1965."

"Ah," Bellatrix said, touching the tip of her wand to her chin. "So it was _you_." Amanda gripped the wand she had tucked into the side of her skirt. Bellatrix, noticing this, glanced over at the other Gryffindors, raising her voice as she continued, "Julian would be proud."

Amanda whipped out her wand and held it low but at the ready. "Don't think I won't do it again," she said.

"Oh, but my dear Amanda, my sister knows I'm here with you. If I go back even more clueless, she'll think one of your friends has been cursing me." She swept her wand around so that it pointed at each Gryffindor for a few seconds. "And that could get messy."

Amanda paused for a moment, looking at Emme, Sirius, James, and Lily, all immersed in their own chatter. She gritted her teeth, wondering what the hell was taking Remus so long. She turned back to Bellatrix, glaring. "I think it's time for you to go."

Bella batted her eyelashes as she said, "But I don't think I'm quite finished enjoying the party."

Amanda felt something inside her snap. She flicked her wand up so it pointed directly at the Slytherin's skull. "If you don't leave right this second, I'll make sure you lose more than just your memory."

Bella aimed her wand at Amanda. "Make me," she hissed.

Emme finally caught sight of the impending fight, and she tugged on Sirius sleeve and nodded toward the girls.

"Ladies, ladies," Sirius said, taking a few steps in their direction. "Words, not wands." He glanced at Lily and James as they stepped to his side. "This is a party."

"What's going on, 'Manda?" Lily asked, the hand smoothly sliding out her wand belying her calm voice.

Bellatrix laughed nastily, still staring straight at Amanda. "Yes, Amanda, why don't you fill them in?"

"I don't know what you said to her," James said to Bellatrix, "and I don't care. I only know two things--you're a git, and you're outnumbered." He pulled his wand from his pocket, feeling more confident as Emme and Sirius followed suit. He was about to speak again when the soft _pat pat pat_ of shoes on the stairs was heard just outside the door.

Remus pushed past the door, the blood draining from his face as he took in the scene in front of him. A bright white salamander squirmed in his left hand.

"What happened?" Remus asked, his voice cracking. Nobody answered him; they were silent for a full minute before Amanda spoke.

"What happened is Bellatrix has and always will be a poisonous _bitch_."

Bella's nostrils flared as she glared at Amanda. Painting a hurt expression across her face, she turned to Remus and asked, "Are you going to let her talk about me like that? Or are you going to threaten me, too?"

Remus looked down at the floor, mumbling, "No. Let's go."

James' mouth fell open. "Moony, what the…"

They all stared agape as Bellatrix glided out of their midst, sliding her arm underneath Remus's and leaving the tower with him.

"He's lost his bloody mind," said Sirius.

Amanda stared at the darkened staircase Remus and Bella had just descended, the blood pounding in her veins. Nobody spoke for a long moment.

"'Manda," Lily said tentatively, "are you alri--"

Amanda threw her wand against the stone wall, not watching it tumble to the ground as she stormed out of the Astronomy Tower. Lily immediately walked over and picked it up, stashing it in her jeans.

"Let's go," James muttered, wondering what the hell had gotten into Remus. Lily followed him as he started down the stairs. Emme swept her arm across the table, shaking the contents down in her bag as Sirius held the door open for her.

"Happy birthday to me," he said quietly as Emme trailed along after Lily. With a short wave of his wand the table disappeared, leaving no trace of the events that had just transpired. He sighed, shutting the door softly as he hastened to join his friends.


	5. Chapter Four

_Chapter Four_

"_The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."_

_The Inbetween, 1998_

"I still can't believe you _dated_ that bitch," Sirius said, clenching his fists. The three boys had abandoned their spot by the water and headed back toward the courtyard; Emme had run off to visit with some other new arrivals. Suddenly, Sirius jogged over to a nearby tree and pulled himself onto a low branch, quickly scanning the area and hoping to see that Bellatrix had also died during the war. When he didn't see her, he groaned and leaned back against the bark, sighing. "No doubt she's taken all the credit for my fluke of a death. If that archway wasn't so inconveniently placed, I would have blasted her face off in seconds."

"If I had known she was going to turn out that way—"

"C'mon, Moony, she was always a bitch," James said, pausing in the shade of the tree.

"Hey, I figured it out eventually, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but you waited long enough for it to become a hell of a mess," Sirius said from above.

James nodded. "You're just too…too…"

"_Nice_," Sirius finished, shaking his head.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Remus said, laughing at his friends' behavior.

"Too much of anything is a bad thing," James said. "When's the last time you did something for yourself?"

"When he married me."

The three friends looked up to see Tonks, whose weak smile looked as though she had been struggling to keep it working for years. Remus stared at her, hesitating as he processed what this meant. Her expression was soft, and her eyes widened with the relief of seeing her husband and the sadness of remembering her son. He took a single hesitant step toward her before she rushed toward him. Wrapping his arms around her, he ran his hands through her flowing hair, which was a color he had never seen her choose before – black.

"Tonks," he said into her ear. "God, I'm so sorry."

She dug her head into his chest and pressed herself closer to him. "Don't," she whispered.

"Don't?"

After a moment, she pulled back, putting her hands on his cheeks and staring into his eyes. "Don't make this your fault."

"But if I had—"

"_Stop_. Please," she said, allowing herself to sob. Lily appeared from farther up the hill and gestured for James and Sirius to follow her out of earshot. Tonks took a few steps backward and sank to the ground, hugging her knees to her chest as the tears rolled down her face. Remus sat down next to her and when she rested her head on his shoulder he gritted his teeth against the surge of emotion. They had abandoned his son. He had abandoned his son.

"Why?" he groaned, his chest tight as though the wind had been knocked out of him.

Tonks continued to cry.

James, Sirius, and Lily watched the scene from a distance, staring in silence. James pulled Lily close to him when he saw her wipe her cheeks.

"Not again," she whispered.

James kissed the top of her head, unsure of what to say. Sirius paced back and forth, his head bent toward the ground, his mind racing. After several minutes of this, Lily said, "I wonder how Amanda's taking all of this."

"You think she knows?" James asked.

"I'm sure she knows," Lily said.

"Well she's been through a lot," Sirius said. "She can make it through this, too."

"And what about Andromeda?" Lily asked.

"She's tough," Sirius said. "And she'll take good care of Teddy. She was a damn good mother."

"Yeah," Lily said. "And she was a damn good friend."

**

_Hogwarts, 1976_

Lily sighed, glancing up at the swollen clouds visible through the frosted window. "It's going to snow," she said, glancing at Amanda. "Do we even want to go?"

"Yes—I'm _dying_ for a butterbeer," Amanda said, collapsing onto a crimson couch in the common room. "After the last couple of weeks, I can really use one. Or five." She turned to Emme. "Are we meeting Sirius and James?"

Emme glowered at her. "How should I know?" she said moodily. "It's not like he tells _me_ anything." She sank deeper into the overstuffed armchair, crossing her arms over her chest.

"He'll come around," Lily said, rather unconvincingly. "You know how he is, so the fact he spends most of his time with you has to mean _something_."

Amanda pondered her statement, recalling how much time Remus had been spending with Bellatrix. She cringed. "Sirius is just..." She trailed off, unsure of how to finish the statement.

"Frustrating?" Emme offered sulkily. "Irritating? Promiscuous? A _man whore_?" She sat up suddenly. "I mean, did you _see_ him with Aurora Flume this morning? Can't he keep his paws to himself?"

"Emme, look at it this way," Amanda said, "at least he's not snogging Bellatrix."

"Hardly," Lily said, turning to Amanda. "That's his _cousin_."

"So?" Emme said, raising her eyebrows. "I wouldn't put it past him."

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't date his cousins," said a voice from the other side of the room. Andromeda Black looked up from a book, smirking. "So are you two an item or what?" she asked, looking directly at Emme.

Emme sighed, the energy seeming to seep out of her as she sank into the cushion. "I don't know _what_ we are," she said. "With Sirius it's like...it's like I'm running a marathon that never ends." She looked over at Andromeda. "I can't even see the finish line."

"No offense, but the problem with Sirius is that he's not just sitting in the stands cheering you on—he's checking out every piece of ass that runs by," Andromeda said, straightening herself up in her chair. "So to continue the metaphor, stop running and just sit with him."

Emme smiled ruefully as Andromeda spoke. "But that's the problem, Drommie," she said, shaking her head. "The bench is too crowded." She sighed. "And I don't want to just stay in one place, you know? If we're doing something together, I want it to be _progressing_."

"Good luck with that," Amanda said. "His only progressing relationship is with James."

Lily laughed, stepping away from the window. "It's sad how true that is."

Emme studied the petite girl in front of her. "Speaking of James," she said, raising her eyebrows, "how is _your_ relationship progressing with our favorite egotist?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "There is no relationship between Potter and I," she said, crossing to the couch. "Therefore, progression is impossible."

"You're such a heartbreaker," Amanda said, giggling. "He'd probably propose to you right now, and you'd likely flick the ring right out of his fingers."

"When you marry Potter, can I be a bridesmaid?" Andromeda asked, attempting to be as serious as possible.

"Can I be your maid of honor?" Amanda begged, dramatically leaping from the couch and falling to her knees in front of Lily. "Pretty please?"

Lily scowled at the two girls. "Oh don't _even_," she said, shaking her head. "If I'm about to marry Potter, why aren't the two of you _stopping_ me?"

"At least he likes you," Emme said sulkily.

"And not some Slytherin bitch," Amanda groaned. She stood up and began pacing.

"Man, you girls have problems," Andromeda said. Amanda stopped in her tracks and glared at her. "I mean, you don't _have_ problems, you're _dealing_ with problems. You know what I mean."

"Oh no," Lily intoned, shaking her head. "Amanda definitely _has_ problems."

"God, Lily, you're _hilarious_," Amanda said. She sighed, throwing her hands in the air. "Let's go drown whatever problems I have in some butterbeer, shall we?"

Emme glanced out the window at the impending storm. "We should probably grab our cloaks," she said, already shivering at the thought of the long walk to Hogsmeade.

Lily nodded, standing as she wrapped her scarf around her neck. "You coming, Drommie? We're meeting up with the guys in Hogsmeade."

Andromeda sighed. "I better study. NEWTs are going to be rough if I don't stop slacking. Good luck, girls," she said, winking.

"Forget luck," Emme said. "I need a love potion."

"Why don't you go ask Snivellus for one?" Andromeda said. "He always has his greasy head buried in a cauldron."

"Ugh, can we _please_ not talk about Severus?" Lily said, walking toward the portrait hole with Emme close behind.

"I'll catch up with you," Amanda said. "I left my coat in the dormitory." She sprinted up the stairs and snatched the red coat hanging on her bedpost. A gust of icy wind blew through an open window at the far end of the room, scattering a few loose papers from the desk she shared with Lily. Amanda rushed over and shut the window with a sharp snap, bending down to retrieve the scattered parchment. She paused as she came across a gilded black envelope, her name scrawled across the back in silvery ink. She raised an eyebrow as she slid her thumb underneath the flap, wincing as the thin paper sliced her finger. She extracted the note from within, leaving a dark streak of red as she smoothed out the heavy parchment.

_One good act of vengeance deserves another._

Amanda's trembling hands gripped the letter tightly. She sat down on the edge of her bed, the chill from the outside seeping through her black sweater. Taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes, she crushed the parchment into a ball and shoved it into the pocket of her jeans. She started for the door but paused, glancing toward the far end of the room. Marching the length of the dormitory, she slipped shut the latch that locked the window. With a determined nod, she swept from the room and ran to catch up with the others.

*

"Oh, look at what we have here," Sirius said as they rounded a bend in the road. "Moony and his ickle Bella-love." He gave an exaggerated frown. "Bella, dear, I thought you couldn't be out in the sunlight?"

Bellatrix's lip curled back in a feral snarl. "Why don't you--"

"Bella," Remus said, laying a hand on her arm. "Weren't you about to go meet up with your sister?"

At his touch she softened somewhat, the snarl disappearing from her lips as she turned to face him. "Alright," she said, sounding somewhat put out. "I'll meet up with you later."

He nodded as she took off up the road, her boots leaving deep tracks in the snow.

"_Bella_," James mocked, placing a hand on Sirius' forearm.

The dark haired boy batted his eyelashes. "I'll meet up with you _later_, darling."

"Shut it," Remus said, his face reddening.

"Did you hear that, Prongs?" Sirius asked as he turned to James. "_Shut it_. Ickle Remus doesn't like it when--"

"Why are you two acting like such pricks?" Remus said, shaking his head in disgust. "Can't you just let it alone?"

"Let it alone?" James said, raising his eyebrows. "Moony, you're practically going steady with _Bellatrix Black_. What do you--"

"We aren't going together," Remus said emphatically.

"Could've fooled us," Sirius said.

"And the rest of the school," James added.

Remus let out a long sigh, his breath visible in the cold air. "You just don't get it, do you?"

"Get what? Get why you're suddenly a lover of all things that stink?" Sirius shook his head. "No, you're right, we don't get it."

Remus clenched his jaw. "It's _my fault_."

"What's your fault?"

"The way she's acting!" he exclaimed, gesturing up the road the way she'd left. "It's _my fault_ she doesn't have her memories, _my fault_ she's suddenly not herself. My--"

"Actually," Sirius interrupted, "it's Amanda's fault. You know, since she's the one that--"

"That what?" Remus said, his voice tight. "That erased her memory?" He raked a hand through his sandy hair. "But _why_ did she do it? Because of me. Because Bella knew _my_ secret."

"Exactly," James said, shaking his head. "Have you forgotten that little part of the plot? _Bella_ knew, and not only did she _know_, but she threatened to tell the _entire school_." He looked hard at Remus. "So I'm still failing to see where the sympathy for the girl who tried to _ruin you_ comes in."

"Can you imagine waking up one morning and not remembering anything about yourself?" Remus shot back, his voice rising. "Not knowing--"

"Moony, this is _Bellatrix_ we're talking about--"

"So what!" Remus cried, throwing his hands in the air.

"'_So what_'?" Sirius said incredulously. "Have you lost your mind?"

Remus stared at them, his breath coming out in small puffs of smoke.

"You've gone mental," James said. He turned to Sirius as he said, "Let's go." They turned their backs to Remus and continued down the road, their boots crunching in the snow.

"I haven't gone mental," they heard Remus call from behind. They paused, turning around. "I've just discovered that I actually have a conscience, unlike some others I know."

They stared at him incredulously as he walked past and continued down the road toward Hogsmeade.

**

"Can you believe him?" Sirius asked as they took their seats at the Three Broomsticks.

James shook his head silently, staring down at the table.

"Prongs?" Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You okay?"

James looked up, his brow furrowed. "What if he's right?"

"About what? About _Bella_?" Sirius asked, his jaw dropping. "Mate, I've grown up with her, and I assure you she's a bonefied b--"

"No," James said, shaking his head. "About us. What if he's right about us?"

Sirius faltered. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

The other boy was silent for a moment before he said, "He's not."

"No?"

"If he was right," Sirius said, "would you have saved Snivellus that time he tried to follow us to the Shack?"

"Would he have even known about the Shack if it weren't for us?"

Sirius didn't answer.

"See?" James said, shaking his head as if he almost didn't believe it himself.

"But--" Sirius began, but closed his mouth tightly as the door opened, letting in a swirl of the snow that had begun to fall again. James glanced over his shoulder in time to see Remus slip into a booth at the far end of the tavern.

"Brilliant," James grumbled as he turned around. "Bloody brilliant."

Sirius scowled, glancing out the window just as the three girls walked past, Lily's bright hair unmistakable even through the foggy glass. He tapped sharply on the window to get their attention, using his sleeve to wipe a circle of glass clear.

Emme was the first to turn around, her dark hair braided beneath a knit cap. Sirius stared at her for a long moment, noticing for the first time how her face flushed the deepest shade of pink in the cold. She raised her eyebrows at him questioningly. Regaining his senses, he motioned for the girls to join them.

Another flurry of snow accompanied them as they entered the Three Broomsticks, hurrying over to the two boys.

"How's it going?" Amanda said, slipping into the booth next to Sirius.

"Dandy," he said flatly.

James quickly scooted over to make room for Lily. She hesitated for a moment before taking the seat, unwinding her scarf from around her neck as she said, "It doesn't sound so dandy. What's wrong?"

"Remus," James said as though she had addressed the question to him. "We ran into him and Bella on the way here, and--"

"And he was a total arse," Sirius finished, crossing his arms over his chest.

Emme suddenly appeared, carting six butterbeers in her arms. "Who's an arse?"

"Remus," Amanda said, accepting one of the drinks.

"You know, to be totally honest," Emme said, setting the rest of the glasses down on the table, "I don't see why you guys are being so hard on him."

"What is this? International 'Be Spineless' Day?" Sirius spat, glaring at Emme. "When one of your best mates has been dating the devil for a month, you can't just act like nothing's wrong."

"No, _you_ can't just act like nothing's wrong," she countered. "I, on the other hand, can admit that Remus hasn't done anything to me." She gripped the extra butterbeer between her hands. "And I'm going to go talk to him."

"_What_?" Amanda and Sirius said simultaneously.

But Emme didn't reply as she turned away, walking toward the other end of the tavern.

"I cannot believe she just did that," Amanda said, watching closely as Emme set the butterbeer down in front of Remus.

"I can," Lily said, taking a sip of her drink. "I think this has gotten way out of hand."

Amanda stared at her best friend incredulously. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean," Lily continued, "if we all abandon him, who else does he have to turn to except Bella? Is that what you want?" She stood, grabbing her butterbeer from the table.

"Lily--I--_what_?" Amanda said, shaking her head in confusion.

"Are you coming?" she asked of the table in general. Sirius glared out the window and Amanda continued to shake her head, but James seemed to be at war within himself. "Suit yourselves," she said, shrugging as she as she headed toward Remus' booth.

James craned his neck, staring after her as she walked away. He sighed heavily, turning back to the table as he locked eyes with Sirius for a brief moment. Amanda knew by the look on his face what was about to happen.

"Sorry," James muttered, ducking his head as he slid out of the booth.

Amanda slammed her fist against the table, rising from the booth as well.

"You, too?" Sirius asked tonelessly.

Amanda shook her head, her expression livid as she rushed out of the Three Broomsticks.

Sirius watched her stomp across the road toward the small park on the corner. He closed his eyes, sighing as he rubbed the back of his neck. He felt rather than heard Remus approach. He opened his eyes, still facing the window.

"Padfoot," Remus said. Sirius could see his blurred reflection in the glass. "Can we end this?"

Sirius turned to face him, frowning. "I know my cousin, Moony," he said, shaking his head. "And she's--"

"I know," Remus replied, nodding. "I'm going to talk to her later today."

Sirius stared at him for a long moment. "So, what? You want me to apologize?"

"No." Remus shook his head. "Just come join us."

Sirius didn't move. "I'm not going to say I'm sorry."

"I know."

Sirius smirked. "I'm not going to admit that I was a git."

"I wouldn't expect you to." Remus extended a hand. "Mates?"

Sirius grinned, grasping it. "Let's not get all emotional, now."

The two boys headed toward the far end of the tavern as moved to get up.

"Where are you off to?" James asked as Sirius and Remus pulled up chairs and sat.

"I'm going to get Amanda," she said.

Remus fidgeted, glancing out the window.

"S'wrong, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing."

Emme rolled her eyes. "Lily, stay. Remus, go."

"What?" he said, feigning ignorance.

She held his gaze. "Go talk to her."

James and Sirius frowned, their faces clouded with confusion. "What's she on about?" James asked.

Remus sighed, rising from his seat. "I'll be right back."

**

"Is this seat taken?"

Amanda looked up, her heartbeat quickening with the brief surge of emotion. "Your girlfriend wouldn't want you sitting with a Mudblood."

Remus cringed as he sat down next to her. "Bellatrix… she doesn't mean anything to me. Not the way you think."

"Well if _she_ means nothing then _I_ must be nonexistent," Amanda said, staring down at her feet and shivering slightly.

Remus swallowed hard, choosing his next words carefully. "I know I've been a royal git. I just didn't know what to do. She was so confused, and then she started following me around, and I felt bad. I blamed myself. I wasn't thinking."

"No, you weren't," Amanda said, digging her boots into the snow.

"What I'm trying to say," Remus continued, "is that I'm sorry."

He held his breath, waiting for her reaction. Amanda felt the tears returning to her eyes as she spoke. "'Sorry' doesn't change anything."

"Then what will?"

For the first time, Amanda turned to look at him. She could barely make out his expression through her glassy eyes. "Are you still going to see her?"

"No," Remus said without hesitation. "I'm going to talk to her tonight." He reached out and held her hand. "I'll fix this."

Amanda's heart skipped a beat as his hand enveloped hers. She took a deep breath, trying to stifle her tears.

Remus hesitantly lifted his other hand, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Let's go back inside," he said, squeezing her hand. "You're freezing."

They walked hand-in-hand across the road and into the tavern, spotting their friends still sitting at the same booth. Lily's head snapped up, and she grinned at Amanda, who subsequently blushed and removed her hand from Remus's, using it to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. Remus glanced over at her, but they both faced the booth when they heard Sirius say, "So you two friends again?"

Remus and Amanda approached their table, but Amanda stayed silent.

"Yes," Remus said. "Friends…"

Amanda sighed and looked at Lily sitting on the inside of the booth next to James. Lily shrugged.

"So what're you gonna tell Smellatrix?" James asked.

"I don't know yet," Remus said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"C'mon, Moony," Sirius said, "there are plenty of things you can say. 'It's not me, it's you,' or if you're going for something a little less offensive--'I'm just not ready for a relationship right now.'"

"But that's not entirely true," Remus said. Amanda ducked her head to hide her smile.

"Who cares?" Sirius said callously. "It works."

Emme winced, leaning away from the dark haired boy.

"How about you tell her you'd rather eat flobberworms than ever look at her face again?" James asked.

"Or," Emme interjected, "why not just tell her the truth?" She stared flatly at Sirius, who didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, I hear this 'truth' thing is all the rage," Lily added. "You boys should try it some time."

They all stared at Remus while he shifted his weight and cleared his throat. "I'll figure something out," he said finally. He stood at the head of the table, now glancing out the window. Amanda stood next to him, her eyes wandering about the pub. They were all silent for a moment. Emme and Lily exchanged glances and some mouthed words while James looked on with fascination.

"How is it you women communicate without—ow!"

Lily stomped on his foot before he could finish, then turned to him and said, "James, would you like to go for a walk?"

He raised and eyebrow but then smirked. "Can't resist, eh?"

Before Lily could stab him with her fork Emme added, "I love that idea. Sirius?"

Sirius replied with a hesitant, "Sure…" and stood up from the booth, stretching his arms. "You guys comin'?" he asked Remus and Amanda.

As James moved to stand, Lily gave him a little shove to speed up the process. Ignoring his complaints of "Hey, what was that for?" she slid off the bench and grabbed Amanda's arm. "Amanda's much too cold to go back outside," she said, tightening her grip around Amanda's warm forearm. "Besides, she never got the butterbeer she was craving all morning."

"We'll have a round," Remus said. "My treat. It's the least I can do."

"Great!" Emme said. "See you!" She clasped Sirius' wrist and pulled him toward the exit. Lily did the same to James. The two guys looked back at Remus with expressions of mixed confusion and suspicion. Remus laughed.

"Have fun!" he called after them, waving. Amanda giggled.

**

"What was that all about?" James demanded as the door to the Three Broomsticks swung shut behind him.

"Honestly, Potter," Lily said, letting go of his arm. "How dense can you be?"

"What?" James said, staring at the two girls in bewilderment. "How can you expect me to know what the bloody hell is going on if you only speak in your freakishly silent girl talk?"

Emme rolled her eyes. "So, where are we headed?" she asked. James cast a longing glance back at the Three Broomsticks.

"Don't even," Lily said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"I wasn't going to," he said, kicking at a mound of snow that had accumulated on the curb.

"Oh yes you were," she replied, winding her scarf around her neck. She turned to Emme, pausing as she saw Sirius lean down and whisper something in her ear.

Emme raised her eyebrows, casting him a sidelong glance before turning to Lily. "I think Sirius and I are going to go for a walk," Emme said uncertainly. Sirius fidgeted and averted his gaze. "Meet you guys back here in an hour?"

"Okay." Lily raised her eyebrows as she mouthed, _"Are you sure?"_

Emme gave a quick shrug. _"I think so?"_

"See!" James cried. "There you go ag-_urmph_," he spluttered as Lily jabbed her elbow into his ribs.

"You never learn, do you?" she whispered, grabbing the sleeve of his pullover as she cast a short wave in Emme's direction.

"There's a park around the corner," Sirius said as James and Lily headed down the road.

"Okay," Emme said simply, following as he headed in the opposite direction of their friends. They walked in silence until they reached the park, which consisted of a set of chain swings and a snow covered slide. Emme brushed a pile of snow off one of the swing seats, sinking down into it as its chains creaked in protest. "So, what's up?"

"Hmm?" Sirius said, apparently lost in thought.

"You said you wanted to talk," she replied, pulling her coat tighter around her.

"Oh," Sirius said. "Right." He cleared his throat loudly. "So... how are things?"

"_Things_ are... fine, I guess," she said, eyeing him guardedly. "Why?"

"I dunno," Sirius said, shifting his feet uncomfortably. There was a moment of awkward silence. "We just... I mean, we haven't had a chance to, um, talk lately?" he finished, sounding more as though he were asking a question.

Emme stared at him for a long moment. "Talk?"

Sirius shrugged. "Yeah... talk. Y'know, catch up and such, like friends do--"

"Oh," said Emme, nodding suddenly in understanding. Her stomach sank heavily. "I see what's going on here. It's okay, Sirius, I don't need the 'just friends' speech, I get it--"

"Wait, what? Get--"

"Don't worry about it," she continued, standing. "I completely understand. We kind of had a thing, and now we don't. I'm totally okay with just going back to being friends."

"I..." Sirius began, looking confused. "Is that what you want?"

Emme's head snapped up. "Isn't that what _you _want?"

Sirius averted his gaze, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck. "I... well... not exactly," he mumbled.

"Oh," Emme said, her face flushing a dull pink.

"But I mean if that's what you--"

"It's not," she said quickly.

Sirius finally looked at her, his dark hair falling into his bright, unreadable eyes. He held her gaze for a long moment, and she felt her heart skip a beat. "Then, okay," he said, nodding slowly.

"Okay," Emme agreed.

**

Once they rounded the corner onto High Street Lily paused, turning to James as she said, "So, where do you want to go?"

James frowned. "Well, the Three Broomsticks is obviously out," he said, rubbing his bruised side resentfully as he glanced up and down the street.

"We could go to Zonko's," Lily suggested, starting in the direction of the joke shop.

"Nah," James said, falling in to step beside her. "Padfoot would kill me if I went without him."

"What is it with those nicknames?" she asked, glancing at him as they continued past the line of shops.

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged, pausing as she checked out a window display of elaborately feathered quills. "Where did they come from?"

He hesitated, seeming to consider her question very carefully. She watched his reflection in the glass as he sighed heavily, raking a hand through his hair. "I don't know," he said, shrugging with forced nonchalance. "They just kind of happened." They set off down the road again, their boots crunching in the snow. "What about you and Amanda? When did you meet her, anyway?"

"About a year ago," Lily replied, shrugging. "She transferred here in our fourth year. She used to be at Salem, you know."

"Salem Witches Institute?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, but then her parents split and she came back here with her mum."

"That must've been hard," James said as they rounded a corner.

"Her first year here was pretty rough," Lily said, shrugging. "To be honest, I was kind of surprised when she agreed to help Remus."

"What do you mean?"

"Well..." Lily hesitated. "She has history with Bellatrix. She doesn't really like to talk about it."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," she replied shortly. "Where are we going, anyway?" They had left the village behind, following a wide dirt road that wound its way up the hill at the edge of town. The snow had stopped falling, leaving the ground halfheartedly dusted with a thin layer of ice.

"I dunno," James said, stopping alongside her. "Actually…" He looked around, glancing back at the town to get his bearings. "I want to show you something," he said, turning back to Lily.

"Do you, now?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

He grinned. "Come on, it's just a bit further," he said, setting off up the hill with Lily following close behind.

A few minutes later they breasted the hill, the sun glinting brightly off the frozen turf. A few yards in front of them stood a low, rickety fence, separating them from a patchy front lawn that stretched away toward a large, dilapidated house, its shutters hanging slightly off their hinges and looking as though it hadn't been inhabited in years.

"Is this the Shrieking Shack?" Lily asked, tilting her head as she gazed up at the rundown building.

"Yeah," James said, nodding shortly.

"I've heard some of the girls talk about it," she said, glancing over at James. "Mallory Crockett swears she heard screams coming from it once."

"They say it's haunted."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"What?" James asked. "You don't think so?"

"I don't believe in ghosts," Lily replied matter-of-factly.

James raised his eyebrows. "So Nearly Headless Nick is a figment of my imagination, then?"

"Well, okay," she conceded. "I believe in _ghosts_…but none of this haunting nonsense. It's probably just the town's way of generating tourism or something."

James grinned, suddenly mischievous. "So you're not at all afraid, then?"

Lily leveled her green eyed graze. "No, I'm not."

"Alright then," he said. "Why don't you go touch it?"

"Touch what?"

"The shack," he said, rolling his eyes.

Lily looked for a moment as though she was going to protest, as though she was above such foolishness, but then she paused, smiling slightly. "I have a better idea," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'll race you."

James raised his eyebrows. "Race me?" He glanced down at his long legs and then back at her tiny form. "Okay," he said, shrugging. "What are the stakes?"

Lily thought about this for a moment. "If I win," she said, "you have to leave me alone."

James took a deep breath, considering this. "Fine," he said after a moment of silence. "But if I win, you have to come out with me. Ungrudgingly and open-mindedly."

"_One_ date?" Lily clarified, narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously.

"One date," he agreed, nodding once.

"You're on," she said, sticking out one mittened hand.

James took it, holding on a second longer than he should have. She pulled her hand away, frowning at him. "You haven't won yet, Potter."

He laughed, turning away from her as he began to shrug off his coat. "Just you wait, Evans," he muttered, tossing his coat to the ground. "Okay," he said, turning back to face her. "On the count of three we'll--hey!" he shouted. Lily had already leapt over the short fence and was speeding toward the shack, her red hair flying wildly about her. James launched himself after her, cursing under his breath.

She beat him to the house by half a second, his long legs having almost closed the distance between them.

"You cheated!" he exclaimed, glaring at her.

"Did not," she panted, resting her hands on her knees.

James scoffed, thoroughly irritated. "Rematch," he said. "Back to the--"

"What? No way!" Lily laughed, shaking her head.

James glared at her. "Bloody unfair, that is, taking off when my back was turned." He leaned against the side of the house, sulking.

They stood in silence for a full minute, their breath coming out in small puffs of smoke.

"Oh, fine," Lily said finally. "You're right."

"But Lily I--wait, what?" James faltered, straightening.

"You're right," Lily repeated, shrugging. "I cheated."

James' demeanor changed instantly, a grin spreading across his face as he said, "So where would you like to go, then? I hear Rosmerta's bringing in a live--"

"Oh no," Lily interrupted, shaking her head emphatically. "I may have cheated, but you didn't _win_. Bet's void, Potter."

James looked outraged. "But I would've! You barely beat me by a second and--"

"Guess we'll never know," Lily said, smiling as she headed back in the direction they'd come.

For a moment he didn't follow, but glowered at her as she walked away, wanting nothing more than to chuck a snowball at the back of her pretty red head. He sighed in exasperation.

"Are you coming, or are you just going to stand there and stare at my arse all day?"

James realized he didn't know the answer to that question -- both options sounded equally promising.

"That was a rhetorical question, Potter. Move it."

**

"So what should I tell Bellatrix?" Remus asked as the waitress set two butterbeers on the table.

Amanda smirked. "You don't want to know my answer to that question."

"Would it get me expelled?" he asked.

"Yeah, and most likely thrown into Azkaban."

"Well now I'm just curious."

Amanda grinned for a moment. Remus watched as she stared at her drink, her smile fading.

"Remus," she began, still staring at the foam, "whatever you decide to say, just _think_ about it first."

She looked up in time to see him raise an eyebrow. "So… you don't want me to tell her off? Stun her? Introduce her to the Whomping Willow?"

"It's not about what I _want_," Amanda said, " it's about … listen, if I tell you something, do you swear you won't think I'm crazy?"

"I already think you're crazy," he said, but when Amanda glared at him, he added, "Come on, just tell me."

Amanda dug into her jean pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment. She smoothed it out and slid it across the table. "I got it this morning."

Remus picked it up and glanced at the scrawled script.

_One good act of vengeance deserves another._

His eyes narrowed as he stared at the note, nonplussed. "Where did you get this?" he asked.

"It was in my dormitory."

"Maybe it wasn't meant for you."

"Remus, my name was on the envelope."

He glanced up at her, then continued reading the sentence over and over. "You think it's Bellatrix."

"Who else?" she said. "It's not like I make enemies on a daily basis."

Remus put the note down and shook his head. "Impossible. They don't know it was you."

"Well, that isn't exactly true." Remus looked at her, his eyes narrowing. She averted her gaze. "At Sirius's birthday party, when we got into that … _disagreement_ … I kind of threatened to erase her memory, and I think she put two and two together…"

"Amanda," Remus said, leaning toward her with eyes full of concern, "why didn't you tell me before?"

She shifted in her seat. "Well, you were still with her at the time--come to think of it, I suppose technically you're still with her now--"

"I'm ending it tonight--"

"And I wasn't going to say anything," she finished, finally making eye contact. "But now that you're breaking up with her … we can handle angry Bella, but I don't know if we can take on heartbroken Bella."

Remus was silent for a moment. Then he stood up and said, "This shouldn't be happening."

"Where are you going?" Amanda asked, following his lead and standing, as well. He tossed some sickles and knuts onto the table and began walking toward the exit, but she wrapped her hand around his wrist and pulled him back. "I don't regret what I did, and I knew this was a possibility when I did it." She stared into his eyes. "I can handle this."

"I know you can handle it," Remus replied, "but you shouldn't have to handle it alone." When she released her grip, he quickly laced his fingers between hers. "We'll figure this out," he said, leading them onto the snowy street.

"Will you at least tell me where we're going?" she asked, sparing a glance at their hands.

"To tell the others," he said, his eyes fixed on the castle in the distance. "This has to end."

**

Bella paced back and forth in front of the Hog's Head, glancing up the street as she checked her watch.

_ Half an hour late_, she thought to herself, glowering at a group of Hufflepuffs who stared at her as they passed. "What are you looking at?" she snapped irritably, pausing her pacing long enough to readjust her dark green scarf.

_ Where the hell is he?_ she wondered, feeling her chest tighten with an unfamiliar emotion. Worry? Insecurity? She rolled her shoulders forecfully, trying to shake the feeling.

"What's gotten in to me lately?" she said aloud. She stared at her reflection in the grimy pub window. Her dark hair swirled around her in the icy wind and her normally pallid cheeks had flushed pink. But her eyes were the most unfamiliar of all--brighter, somehow, a little less sunken. She turned her head to the side, examining her profile from this angle. She'd noticed the change; ever since she'd started seeing Remus she'd felt... different. She wasn't sure what it was or whether she even liked it--sometimes, she thought she felt the affection begin to slip away, but it was always back by breakfast the next morning. Her attraction to the werewolf was so complicated--

Bella blinked, coming out of her thoughts. _The werewolf_? She laughed suddenly, startling a few passing third years. Remus, a werewolf? He was hardly more dangerous than a flobberworm.

She cast the peculiar thought from her mind as she set off up High Street, passing the redheaded Mudblood and her stalker as she went, though they didn't seem to notice her.

_ Such filth_, she thought, shaking her head in disgust. _What does Remus see in them, anyway_?

She continued down the main road, wondering where to start her search for Remus. _Maybe he said The Three Broomsticks_, she thought to herself, spotting the cozy tavern ahead across the way._ I'll just stop in and see if he's_--

But at that moment Bella froze, one foot still on the sidewalk. Her mouth fell open as she saw Remus exiting the pub, hand-in-hand with

"_Young_," Bellatrix growled, her face suddenly contorted with rage. She felt her pulse quicken as her breaths began to come in short bursts. An unfamiliar itch burned at the back of her eyes--

"No," she spat, clenching her jaw as she fought back the unwanted tears. She watched them head up the road in the direction of the castle, the Young girl smiling sheepishly as Remus brushed snow from her shoulder.

When they had passed out of sight, Bellatrix rushed across the snow covered street and into the tavern, making a beeline for the bathroom.

"Get out," she snapped at a small Ravenclaw girl who had been fixing her makeup in the mirror. The girl, after one look at Bella's livid expression, hastened for the door without a word. She flicked her want, locking the door as it shut with a snap.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to slow her racing heart. Who did he think he was, anyway? She threw her wand against the marble sinktop, sparks bouncing off the polished surface. _Him -- _a lousy, Gryffindor blood traitor_ -- _cheat on_ her? _

And suddenly, something within her snapped. She closed her eyes, relishing the cold calm that seemed to wash over her. She slowly lifted her lids, staring at her expression in the mirror. Black hair. Pale cheeks. Dark eyes. Cruel eyes.

Bella was back.


	6. Chapter Five

_Chapter 5_

"_One good act of vengeance deserves another."_

_--John Jefferson_

Lily and James met up with Emme and Sirius at the Entrance Hall. First- and second-years roamed around, sulking about their lack of privileges and gazing out of the tall frosted windows. Every time the oak doors swung open, a frosty gust of air swept through and chilled those in its reach. Sirius' teeth chattered while he asked, "Why are we still standing here?"

"I want to wait for Amanda and Remus," Emme said. "I want to ask them, too."

"Ask them what?" Lily said. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see James inching closer to her. She pretended not to notice.

"I was thinking we could have a Christmas party, since, you know, Sirius's party was kind of a bust."

"At least Bellatrix will be out of the picture by then," Lily said.

"How do you know?" James asked.

"Because Remus—I just know," Lily said, smirking at Emme. James sighed, deciding it wasn't worth asking for clarification.

"I know the five of us are staying," Emme continued, "but I don't know about Amanda. She usually goes home for the holidays. If she _does_ stay, we should have it on Christmas Eve."

"Sounds good to—"

"No, there's a full moon that night," Lily said. The words had fallen out of her mouth before she realized she was saying them. Sirius' head snapped up. James, who was now almost shoulder-to-shoulder with Lily, stepped in the opposite direction.

"What does that have to do with anything?" James asked. He glanced at Sirius and watched his eyes enlarge. Lily grimaced.

"You _told_ her?" Sirius barked at James. "Unbelievable!"

"What?" James protested. "I didn't tell anyone!"

"Oh please, we all know you'd do anything to get Evans," Sirius said, gesturing angrily toward Lily. "Some friend you are."

At that moment, Remus and Amanda walked into the castle, both immediately sensing the tension.

"What's going on?" Remus asked.

James, after scanning the hall to make sure they were alone, said, "Lily knows, mate. About your furry little problem."

The blood drained from Remus' face. Lily approached him and opened her mouth to speak, but Sirius stepped in front of her. "James can't keep anything from Evans," he said, as if it was incontrovertible.

Amanda scoffed loudly. Sirius turned to face her, his eyes brightening with realization.

"Unless," he said, stepping closer to Amanda, "it was our newest addition." He tilted his head toward Remus. "See? I told you we couldn't trust her."

"Excuse me?" Amanda said, crossing her arms. Remus looked from Amanda to Sirius and then back at Amanda. He could feel sweat on the back of his neck despite the cool air. "What does it take to get trusted around here?" Amanda asked, twirling around to address everyone. "Sorry to disappoint you, Sirius, but I didn't say a damn thing. Get your facts straight before you treat me like some sort of criminal."

"And I'm supposed to believe you?" Sirius asked.

Amanda threw up her hands. "Yes!" she exclaimed, looking at Sirius and then Remus. "Yes…"

Sirius frowned. "Well then, Evans, who was it?"

Remus clenched his jaw, his gaze traveling around his circle of friends. Lily stared at Emme, who was now slowly backing up.

"It was an accident," Lily said, shaking her head.  
"_Who?_" Sirius demanded. Everyone was silent, but Lily had no inclination to talk. A few moments passed before Amanda spoke.

"Guess what, Sirius? While you've been busy blaming James and I, you've neglected to interrogate the girl standing right beside you."

Sirius looked at Emme, his mouth opening slightly in disbelief. She stared at her feet, her hands folded behind her back. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "It really was an accident. I let it slip when--"

"_Let it slip_," Sirius whispered to himself as if the words were poisonous. Emme cringed, still unable to look up at anyone. "I can't believe this," Sirius said, laughing sardonically. "Can't anyone around here keep their mouth shut?" He spun on his heel and stalked out of the Entrance Hall, disappearing down a corridor. It was only then that Emme could bring her head up, revealing her red eyes and quivering lips.

She mouthed a quick _I'm sorry_ to Remus, who nodded in response and watched as Emme walked briskly out of the hall.

Lily walked up to Remus and placed her hand on his arm. "I won't tell anyone," she said. "I swear."

Remus nodded again but kept silent. His gaze was fixed on Amanda, who was pacing a few feet away. He walked toward her until he was blocking her path. He couldn't catch Amanda's eye until she finally stopped and looked up at him. "What, Remus?" she asked. "Now you're going to speak up?"

"It's not that I --"

But his words trailed behind her as she stormed out of the hall. He took off in the same direction, leaving Lily and James behind. Lily started after him, but James caught her arm.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I have to talk to Remus," she replied shortly, shaking off his hand. She set off at a quick trot, rounding the same corner and jogging the length of the passage. She slowed as she took a right, spotting Remus standing alone at the end of the long hallway.

"I lost her," he said, shaking his head.

Lily nodded. "She's hard to catch." After a pause, she added, "You know I won't tell, right?"

Remus sighed, running a hand along the back of his neck. "Look, Lily, it's nothing personal, but the number of people who know about my ... well, the number keeps rising," he said, straightening up, "and it just makes me twice as worried."

Lily gave him an apologetic look. "But Bellatrix is out of that picture now, right?"

"True, but--"

"And you trust Amanda, don't you?"

Remus met Lily's gaze, and after taking a deep breath, said, "Yes."

"Well then, that just leaves me," Lily said, "and I swear, Remus, I won't tell a soul."

"I ... I know," Remus said, looking up at a brass gargoyle fixture on the wall.

"Do you?" Lily asked, placing a hand on her hip. "Because that didn't sound very confident."

"It's just that," Remus started, searching for the words, "This is my life, Lily. I can't be complacent about it."

"Well what do you want me to say, Remus?" Lily asked, throwing up her arms. "I gave you my word. Would you like to try another Memory Charm? The Unbreakable Vow?"

"What did you say?" Remus whispered, his gaze snapping up.

Lily suddenly realized what she'd suggested. "I mean..." The words sunk in; she considered the concept. _The Unbreakable Vow?_ She had broken many promises before, but those had been small, trivial. And she really had no plans to break this one. She could keep his secret, right? She reached for her wand in her back pocket and grasped it tightly.

"Well," she said, considering. "Would it ease your mind?"

"It's not worth it," Remus said, "It won't solve anything."

"But this can't hurt, right?"

"Hurt?" Remus said, laughing. "It can _kill_, Lily--"

"Only if I break it," she insisted, gaining confidence. "Which I won't."

Remus stared at her for a long moment, his jaw tight. "We'll need a Bonder," he said finally, his shoulders slumping.

Lily nodded. "I think I know just the person."

***

"I don't know where she could've gotten to," Lily said, placing her hands on her hips. They had been looking for Amanda for almost an hour with no luck.

"Where else could she be?" Remus asked, shaking his head as he leaned against a window. "We've checked the Common Room, the kitchens, the Owlery ... I don't know where--" But Remus trailed off as he looked out over the grounds, the moonlight glinting brightly off the surface of the lake.

Lily followed his gaze, nodding in understanding. "We might as well try," she said, setting off down the corridor. "It's not like there's anywhere else to look."

They found her seated on the edge of the bank, her shoulders stiff.

"Amanda?" Lily called as they approached.

Amanda turned around, her relieved smile vanishing when she noticed Remus walking beside her best friend. She turned back to face the water.

Remus and Lily exchanged looks. Lily tilted her head in Amanda's direction, and Remus nodded, walking to the edge and sitting down next to Amanda. "You have a right to be mad," he said quietly, glancing over at her.

Amanda stared forward. "I know."

Remus sighed, looking out across the glimmering surface of the lake and the reflection of the plump moon. He shuttered. "I'm not sure what else to say other than..." he paused for a moment and continued, "I'll never doubt you again."

"It's hard," Amanda suddenly said with a shaking voice. "I feel like I'll never be in your little circle." Remus, surprised by her sudden admittance, looked back at her. "For whatever reason, Sirius will never trust me," she continued, "and you two have known each other for so long that I can't blame you for believing what he says. Why shouldn't you? I mean, you just met me a couple of months ago. Sirius and James are your best friends. I just feel like ... it's just ... it's not fair."

Remus watched Amanda sit there, hugging her legs to her chest, digging her head into her knees. He felt his stomach churn.

"I'm going to talk to Sirius," Remus said resolutely. "Sirius and James are just...they're just--"

"Assholes?" she offered.

"I was going to say 'wary', but yes, they can be. In time, they'll come around -- I can promise you that. In the meantime, will my trust be enough?"

Amanda looked up. "That's all I'm asking for."

"Speaking of asking," Lily said, feeling it was safe to join them at the water's edge. "We have a bit of a favor to ask you."

"What kind of a favor?" Amanda asked suspiciously, looking back and forth between Lily and Remus.

"Well," Remus began, looking to Lily for support.

The redhead dropped down to her knees, taking Amanda's hands in hers. "We need you to be our Bonder," she said simply.

"What?" Amanda asked instantly, standing up. "You can't be talking about--"

"The Unbreakable Vow," Lily finished, nodding solemnly.

"May I ask who's vowing to do what?" Amanda asked.

"Lily feels that it--"

"Oh don't even, Remus, you think it's a good idea too."

Remus grimaced, averting his gaze. "We think it would be best--for all parties--if, well--"

"What Remus is trying to say," Lily interrupted impatiently, "is that I'm swearing not to tell his secret. It's not that complicated."

Amanda laughed at Lily's statement, pacing up and down the bank. "Not that complicated? Lily, if you pull an Emme, you don't get yelled at by Sirius -- you die."

"You know, I'm not sure what it is with everyone thinking I've suddenly gone dense today," Lily huffed. "I am well aware of how the Unbreakable Vow functions, thank you."

Amanda turned to look at Remus, her mouth open in disbelief. "And you've agreed to this?"

"Lily, we don't have to go through with it," Remus remarked. "I think Amanda may be right."

Lily narrowed her eyes at Amanda. "Wouldn't you do the same for me?" she asked, holding her best friend's gaze.

"Well--" Amanda began, hesitating, "yes, but this is..."

Unable to conjure a solid argument, Amanda removed her wand from her back pocket and flourished it in the air. "Now I don't want to hear either of you regretting this later. I'll never forgive myself," she said. "Are you both absolutely sure about this?"

Remus glanced over at Lily. "It's all up to you."

Lily was still for a moment as they stared at one another, neither of them drawing in a breath. Without a word, she silently extended her hand.

Remus took it, his palms sweating slightly as he wrapped his fingers around her small hand. "Okay," he said, nodding to Amanda.

Amanda shook her head. "You two are going to be the death of me," she said, approaching them. She surveyed the area, making sure no one was in earshot. Then she touched her wand's tip to their clasping hands, closing her eyes. "Lily," she started, taking a deep breath as she carefully considered her words, "do you swear to never divulge the secret of Remus' lycanthropy?"

"I do," Lily said, nodding once as a thin ribbon of flame shot from Amanda's wand and wound its way around their hands. "And Remus," Lily continued, causing the other two Gryffindors to raise their eyebrows. "Do you take me as your lawfully--"

"LILY!" Amanda and Remus shouted together.

The petite girl snickered. "Sorry, sorry," she said, smiling mischievously. "I couldn't help myself."

"Now where was I?" Amanda asked. "Oh yes, and do both of you swear to never give me a hard time for having done this bonding?"

"I do," said Remus, grinning wryly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Me too."

Two more flames curled around their hands, their fiery light casting bright reflections onto the water lapping at the shore. Amanda withdrew her wand, and the glowing strings disappeared, leaving the surface of the lake black and impenetrable.

***

Amanda awoke to the sound of arguing coming from outside her four poster hangings.

"I can't go down there, Lily," Emme said emphatically. "They'll eat me alive!"

"That's not true," she heard Lily reply. "You just need to explain what--"

"Oh, that'll go over really well," Emme snapped back. "'Hey Sirius, I'm really sorry that--'"

"Remus is the only one you should be apologizing to," Lily said. "Sirius can--"

"But we were finally _getting_ somewhere!" Emme whined.

Amanda threw open her hangings, swinging her legs over the side of her bed. "You should go," she said flatly, running a hand through her long blonde hair. "It'll only be worse if you wait to face them."

"And since when are you such an expert on The Marauders?" Emme asked. Amanda's eyes snapped up to meet hers. "Ugh, sorry," she continued in a rush, flopping back on to her bed. "I just...God, it was an accident, you know?"

"Not really," Amanda said.

Lily gave her a reproachful look. "Listen, just come down to the Great Hall with us, okay?" Lily suggested. "It just makes you look even more guilty if you avoid them."

Emme sighed, but started pulling off her pajama top anyway. Lily, who was already dressed, grabbed a rubber band and said, "Meet you in the Common Room!" as she headed for the stairs.

Fifteen minutes later, they were dragging a reluctant Emme toward the Great Hall where, judging by the sounds and smells issuing from behind the doors, breakfast was in full swing.

"I can't do it," Emme said suddenly, digging her heels in just outside the Hall.

"Fine," Amanda said indifferently, dropping Emme's arm as she slipped between the large oak doors. She'd had about enough of Emme's martyr act. She looked around, spotting the boys about halfway up the Gryffindor table.

"Hey," she said to Remus, taking the seat next to him.

"Morning," he said, smiling over at her.

"Where's Lily?" James asked, stuffing a link of sausage into his mouth.

"She'll be here in a minute," she replied, turning back to Remus in time to see him cast a meaningful look at Sirius, who appeared to want nothing more than to excuse himself from the table immediately.

"What?" Amanda said, addressing Remus.

"Nothing," he said, clearing his throat as he frowned across the table at his friend.

"Look, Amanda," Sirius said suddenly. "I don't do apologies."

Amanda stared at him with hard eyes. "That's funny, because you have a lot to apologize for."

Sirius rolled his eyes haughtily. "You have to understand that--"

"Actually," she interrupted, her tone cold, "I don't _have_ to understand anything."

"Now now, children, let's play nicely." Amanda glanced over her shoulder to see Lily dragging a reluctant Emme into view.

"Morning, Lily," James said.

"Hullo, Potter," she replied, not looking at him as she lowered herself onto the bench next to Amanda.

Emme hesitated, realizing the only empty spot was directly across from Sirius. Lily gave her an encouraging nod and she sank down, keeping her eyes resolutely focused on the butter dish.

Sirius gave no sign that he had even seen her arrive. "So, Prongs," he said a little too casually. "Did you finish that Defense Against the Darks Arts assignment from last week? I think Drottlebang may actually kill us this time if we don't get it turned in."

James stared at him quizzically, shoveling another sausage into his mouth.

Remus leaned toward Amanda as the post owls flew overheard, the loud rustle of their wings masking his voice as he whispered, "You know something's not right when Sirius starts talking about overdue assignments."

Amanda snorted into her pumpkin juice loudly.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, glancing disdainfully across the table. "How very ladylike."

Amanda's angry retort was interrupted as a large brown barn owl deposited a letter in her empty cereal bowl. She tore open the flap, pulling out a thin piece of parchment with the school's letterhead emblazoned across the top.

_Dear Miss Young,_

_I would appreciate it if you could meet me in my office at your earliest possible convenience. I have an urgent matter which merits discussion._

_Sincerely,_

_Professor Horace H. Slughorn_

"What's Slughorn want with you?" asked Lily, who had peered over Amanda's shoulder at the letter.

"No idea," she answered honestly with a shrug of her shoulders. "I'm not even taking Potions this term."

"Weird," said Lily, shaking her head. "Well, do you want to go now? I was planning on stopping by his office before class anyway," she suggested, leaning down to grab her satchel.

"Sure," Amanda replied, standing as well. "I'll see you later, then?" she said, smiling at Remus.

He nodded, smiling back.

"I'm coming with you," Emme muttered hurriedly after glancing around at the three boys.

The girls exited the Great Hall together, heading for the dungeons.

"See," Lily said, frowning over at Emme. "I told you it wouldn't be that bad."

"Are you joking?" Emme cried. "That was murder! Did you see the way he acted? Like I don't even exist--"

"He didn't treat me much better," Amanda offered as they rounded a corner.

"Yeah, well, you and Sirius have never gotten on well, though, have you?" Emme replied. Both Amanda and Lily looked at her with stunned expressions. "What?" she cried, pushing a dark strand of hair behind her ear. "It's true!"

"Why don't we talk about a different--shit!" Lily exclaimed as the staircase they were descending jerked to life. They grabbed onto the railings until it stopped, leaving them facing a tall wooden door.

Amanda tried the tarnished handle and it swung open easily. "Let's just keep heading this way," she said. "It'll take us twice as long to double back."

They stepped across the threshold into an empty corridor, a few dying torches flickering on the stone walls.

"Which way is Slughorn's office?" Amanda asked, turning to Lily.

"I think it's--" she began, but all three of them jumped as the door slammed closed behind them. They whipped around in time to see the heavy wood dissolve into the stone wall. "That's okay," Lily continued, shaking off the shock, "I think it's this way."

They headed down the corridor to the left, where the floor began to slant slightly. Their echoing footsteps were the only sound except for the subtle sputtering of the weak torches.

"I don't like the look of this," Emme said quietly.

"Well, we can't go back even if we wanted to," Amanda said tightly, a chill beginning to creep up the back of her neck. "So what did you need to see Slughorn, for?" she asked Lily in an attempt to shake her fear.

"I just needed to ask him a question about--"

"What was that?" Emme whispered suddenly. All three girls froze, straining their eyes to see in the dim light. Ahead, the passage slanted down and to the left, a flickering light barely visible around the bend.

"I didn't hear anything," Amanda said after a tense minute. She started around the corner. "It was probably noth--" But a flash of light was the only warning she had before a searing pain cut across her chest. She fell to the floor as something hot and wet began running down her cheek; her limbs were on fire. A panicked cry of, "Amanda!" was the last thing she heard before everything went black.

***

Emme woke up, but before she opened her eyes, she began to worry: the sheets beneath her were rough and tucked in around her body; even through her closed eyelids, she could tell there was strong light flooding the room; and with every inhalation, she was smothered by the pungent smell of dittany.

She knew it before she saw it—she was in the hospital wing.

She set her memory to work, trying to recollect everything that had recently happened. The last thing she could remember was walking to the dungeons and…

Madame Pomfrey scurried over to Emme's side. "Finally, you're awake! I was beginning to worry. How do you feel?" she asked, helping Emme sit up.

Emme blinked several times. Her chest felt heavy, and she glanced down to see it was tightly wrapped in a clean, white bandage. "Confused," she finally muttered.

"Don't worry," said a nearby voice, "I felt the same way."

Emme turned to her left and saw Amanda hunched over in a similar cot, rubbing her temples. There was the faint line of a healed laceration across her cheek and her forearms were covered in similar bandages.

"What happened?" Emme asked, gazing around the room to see if she was missing anything else.

"Wish I knew," Amanda said, sighing. "I don't remember anything. Apparently, some third year found us lying in a shortcut to the dungeons. Bleeding," she added as an afterthought. "James has come to see Lily about fifty times, but I don't think she's woken up yet." She glanced over at her friend on her other side, worry in her eyes.

"Will she be okay?" Emme asked.

"Yeah, Pomfrey said we were all hit with the same kind of curse."

"Curse?" Emme said. "We were cursed? But who—?"

"I have a few ideas," Amanda grumbled.

There was a knock at the door. Madame Pomfrey opened it quietly and whispered, "Potter, I told you—oh, Lupin…yes, yes, you're right; it's only fair."

Emme perked up, leaning sideways to see who it was. She couldn't help but plop back in to her overstuffed pillow when Remus walked in holding two trays of food. He frowned when he saw the three girls and took slow steps toward them, as if noise or sudden movements would lengthen their recovery time.

"Amanda? Emme? Are you all right?" he asked, handing a tray to Emme.

"Better now," Emme said, admiring the scrambled eggs, bacon and toast on her plate. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Almost noon." Remus smiled and walked over to Amanda's bedside. Emme ate and savored the tastes: the salt, the butter, and the smoky flavor of the bacon. She saw the cup of orange juice and chugged it when she was finished eating, then placed the tray on the small table next to her. While the food made her feel physically better, she still turned onto her side and curled up, facing the door—then she waited.

"How are you feeling?" Remus asked, pulling up a chair at Amanda's bedside and resting the tray on her lap.

"I'm fine," Amanda said, smiling. "Thank you for the food."

"I knew you were okay," Remus said, "because James kept telling me that, but then he said you woke up, and I wanted to see for myself because there was so much blood in that hallway and--"

"Remus," Amanda said. "I'm fine. Please relax." She picked up a piece of toast and nibbled on the crust.

Remus took a deep breath and watched her eat for a few moments. He glanced back over at Lily and Emme and shook his head. "I'm sure you were never in the hospital wing before meeting me."

To Remus' surprise, Amanda laughed. "You'd be surprised," she said, taking the last bite of toast. After chewing and swallowing, she added, "Besides, it's going to take more than a little spell to scare me."

Remus frowned. After a pause, he leaned over and whispered into her ear: "What about a werewolf?" He withdrew, suddenly feeling very self-conscious about his scars. He traced one with his fingertips from behind his right ear to the bottom of his neck.

Noticing this, Amanda gestured for him to come closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. She leaned in to his ear and, hesitating for a moment, whispered, "Not even a werewolf." She lightly kissed the scar on his neck and then looked him in the eyes and added, "I promise."

He smiled then, a kind of smile she had never seen before, and out of the thousand words he wanted to say at that moment, the only ones he could summon to his lips were, "Thank you."

Amanda smiled and ruffled his hair. "Anytime, Moony."

They both turned their heads when they heard a soft knock from behind. James was looking at them through the little square window, gesturing for Remus to let him in. Remus laughed lightly and obliged, allowing James to scramble across the ledge, broomstick in hand. When he had regained his balance, he practically leapt to Lily's side, staring at her motionless face with an expression of distress.

Amanda swallowed her mouthful of eggs and said, "Well hi to you, too."

James sighed and said, "Hey, Amanda," almost in a whisper.

Amanda and Remus looked at each other, frowning. "She's going to be okay, you know," Amanda said.

"Yeah," James said, still looking down at Lily. "I know."

Emme suddenly sat up and turned to face the rest of them. "Has Sirius come by at all?" she asked, her voice tight.

"Well," Remus said, turning to James with wide eyes and mouthing _What should we say?_ To which James shrugged, not willing to be distracted from Lily. "No," Remus said, turning back to Emme. "He's been ... busy."

"Busy?" Emme repeated softly. She looked from Remus to James, both showing signs of distress as they sat at the feet of her friends' beds. She stared back toward the door, her chest feeling heavier than ever.

***

James sat in the plush chair next to her bed, his head in his hands. He glanced up as he heard the sharp click of heels approaching on the tile floor.

"Mister Potter, visiting hours are over," the nurse said sternly.

James straightened up, putting on his most charming smile as he addressed her. "Madam Pomfrey, you're looking wonderful this evening," he said, winking at her coyly. "Did you cut your hair?"

"Flattery will get you nowhere with me, boy," she said, though she patted the side of her graying hair daintily. "It's half past eleven, I've already let you stay too long--"

"Please," James said, switching tactics fluidly as he glanced over at Lily. "I won't be any trouble."

The Healer let out a short laugh. "Trouble! I've seen you in here enough times to know that's not true."

"Then for old friends' sake?" James asked, flashing her a tentative smile.

She stared at him suspiciously, taping her foot against the sterile tile. He widened his eyes pleadingly.

"Fine," she said finally. "But if the Headmaster walks in and catches you, I didn't give you permission."

James smiled gratefully as she turned her back on him and walked toward her quarters. Looking back at Lily he sighed, running a hand across his forehead. Her long red hair was fanned out across the pillow, her chest rising and falling slowly beneath the starched sheet.

"Wake _up_, Lily," he murmured, leaning against the edge of her bed. He laid his hand on top of hers, her skin soft beneath his. He closed his eyes as he thought to himself, _Smooth, Potter. The only time you'll attempt this is while she's unconscious._ He smiled ruefully, knowing that if he'd tried as much while she was awake she'd have cursed off his hand before he could say 'Chimaera'. Come to think of it, a Chimaera would be less threatening than a Lily who awoke to find him holding her hand. If he had to choose, he'd rather face the former.

She stirred slightly, and James immediately withdrew his fingers. She turned her head, her eyelids fluttering momentarily.

"Lily?" James said softly, leaning over her. "Are you awake?"

She opened her eyes slowly, staring at him in confusion. "What happened?" she asked hoarsely, attempting to sit up.

"Don't," James said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Just lie down."

She frowned at him groggily, shrugging off his hand and pushing herself up anyway. "What happened?" she repeated, touching her forehead gingerly where a large square of gauze was taped.

"You don't remember anything?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I don't know. We were heading to Slughorn's office and then…"

James nodded encouragingly. "Yeah?"

"I… I can't remember." She glanced down at her bandaged arms, confusion deep in her eyes.

He frowned, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "Amanda and Emme don't remember much either."

Lily started, glancing around the infirmary. "Are they okay? Where are--"

"They're alright," James said, nodding. "They just left the Hospital Wing this morning."

"Do we, I mean," Lily began, closing her eyes as a wave of fatigue passed over her. "Do we know who did it?"

"Well, yeah," he replied. "Since I can't imagine anyone else who'd send Amanda a letter like--"

"What letter?"

"Oh, right," he said, realizing she'd been out the entire time. He backfilled her on everything Remus and Amanda had told him.

"She _what_?" Lily exclaimed when he had finished. "I can't believe she didn't tell me--"

"To be fair," James said, "I think we all had a lot on our mind that day in Hogsmeade."

Lily shrugged one shoulder. "I suppose that's true." She doubled over as a fit of coughs shook her tiny frame. James looked alarmed for a moment before she shook her head and asked, "James, will you hand me that water, please?"

He grinned as he grabbed the glass and offered it to her. "So it's 'James' now, is it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

She took a quick sip, glaring at him from over the glass's rim. "Don't push it."

"Sorry." James leaned down, shouldering his satchel as he said, "I guess I should probably be heading out--"

"No," Lily said suddenly, surprising herself.

"What?" James asked, pausing as he stared at her.

"Stay," she said, sounding unsure of her words.

"Are you sure?"

"Well," Lily began, still sounding uncertain, "I mean, yeah. I could use some company."

James didn't need to be told twice. He dumped his bag on the ground as he pulled the chair closer, resting his arms on the edge of her Lily's bed.

"So," he began, "tell me what you _do_ remember."

***

It was eight hours after Emme had checked out from the Hospital Wing. She had gone straight to her dormitory to sleep in a bed that didn't feel made of cement; her alarm went off at dinner-time. She headed down to the Great Hall as her stomach rumbled -- she hadn't eaten since Remus had visited with breakfast. As she approached the entrance, she stopped in her tracks when she realized who was standing right by the large doors.

Sirius.

Her heart skipped a beat. They locked eyes, and Emme, taking a deep breath, walked up to the door. Sirius held it open for her and nodded once, expressionless. Emme took a few steps into the hall and then froze. A wave of heat passed over her, sending anger and frustration all the way to her tingling fingers. She whipped around to face him.

"You didn't visit me," she said, her voice cold.

Sirius blinked. "What?"

"You didn't come see me in the Hospital Wing."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair and averted his gaze. "I know," he said, looking back at her.

"That's it?" Emme said incredulously. "That's all you have to say? Let me get this straight: while I was quite possibly bleeding to death, you made the conscious decision not to go to the Hospital Wing to make sure I was, I don't know, still alive?"

"James told me that you were fine," Sirius said, shifting his weight. "I knew--"

"You knew because James knew, and you know how James knew?" she demanded, taking a step closer to him. "Because he visited Lily every other second, and she doesn't even give him the time of day!" Emme said, stamping her foot angrily. "I know you were angry because of the whole Remus thing, but--"

"It's not like that, Emme. I just..." Sirius trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

"Unbelievable," Emme said softly.

"What?" Sirius said, standing up straighter. "What do you want me to do? I'm not your bloody dog, Emmeline, I don't have to come running every time you snap your pretentious little fingers."

Emme stared at him for a long minute, her eyes hard. For a moment, Sirius thought she was going to slap him. Wordlessly, she turned her back on him and headed for the large oak doors that opened on to the grounds.

Sirius wasn't sure how to react. "Emme--wait!" he called instinctively, reaching out to grab her arm.

"Don't touch me," she spat, jerking it out of his reach. "I'm done, Sirius."

"You're... what?" he said, his eyes filled with confusion.

"You just don't get it, do you?" She stared at him, shaking her head sadly. "I'm done trying to make this work, Sirius. I'm done with you." And with a final shake of her head, she turned and stormed from the hall.


End file.
